- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I was just totally caught off guard by this and could use some advice.
As some background, I am planning a backyard wedding and the guest list is currently about 250. About 100 of that is family. We both have largish families that we see pretty regularly so it adds up. My grandmother is one of 9 chidren. So my mother, who passed away 3 years ago, has around 35 counsins on that side. I know 1 one of them, Cousin S, who was mom’s favorite cousin. Cousin S is very close to my grandmother and I’ve been in contact with he some since my mother’s illness and death. I’m planning to invite Cousin S to the wedding. The other cousins I’ve met a few times at family reunions and my grandfather’s funeral, but I couldn’t even tell you their names. I’m not planning to invite the other cousins to the wedding.
Last night I got a call from my grandmother and she mentioned that Cousin S would like to host a wedding shower for me and invite all the cousins so I can get to know them. I was completely caught off guard but I told my grandmother that I would love to get together with all the counsins but that I wasn’t sure a shower would work since I wasn’t planning to invite them to the wedding and you have to invite all shower guests to the wedding. She didn’t seem too put out with that, but I told her I’d think about it and that it was so sweet of Cousin S to offer.
The more I think about it, the counsins really add up since they’re all married and if I’m inviting them would I be expected to invite their kids? Because then we’re talking about over 100 people.
So what do I do? Do I wait until Counsin S actually offers to throw this shower, then try to nicely turn it down? Do I call her now and say that I heard she was considering it and I don’t think it would work? I’d also love any suggestions for how to say this kindly. Thanks Bees!