Post # 1
I’m finalizing my programs, and I need some advice from people who acknowledged deceased relatives (namely, grandparents). I definitely don’t want a sappy poem or anything. Perhaps just an “Remembering those who are no longer with us….” with some names type of deal.
Here’s my dilemma. Where do you draw the cutoff for relatives who died? My own family is relatively simple- my grandfather died 5 years ago, and he’s the primary reason I want to make this acknolwedgement. He was a part of my life, and my fiances too. (We were together for 4 years when he died.). Where do you draw the line for someone like my fiance, who had grandparents die before he was born, grandparents die when he was an infant, a child, and the most recent one was 15 years ago when he was in high school. Do you “remember” people you never knew? I won’t be acknowleding an uncle who died before I was born, under my mother’s advisement (her brother).
Post # 3
@ZChick17: i am putting my grandmother and father, FI is putting his father.
i was very close with my grandmother and father, and knew them for almost 30 years.
you could list parents (and grandparents) and then say “and everyone else who couldn’t be with us today.”
Post # 4
We just did this:
The flowers at the altar have been placed in memory of the Bride and Groom’s grandparents and loved ones who are unable to attend today, but whose love and support are ever-present with us.
Post # 5
I think it could be hurtful for his parents and other family to exclude them. I’d either include them by name or just a sentiment without any names.
Post # 6
@Laurenplusalex: Well I’m certainly not going to exclude them without asking his mother first!
Post # 7
@ZChick17: that’s good, she’ll know what’s best probably. You’re right to ask, some people wouldn’t
Post # 8
Etiquette Snob here…
Ok traditionally when it comes to Wedding Etiquette, the MOST HONOURED GUESTS at a Wedding are:
The Brides Parents – The Grooms Parents – Grand Parents – and God Parents.
So if there is anyone that should be “remembered” it would be these folks… no point in carrying out further along the branches of the Family Tree unless it was a “Special Aunt or Uncle”… or say a Cousin who died young and tragically.
Whether you choose to include All the Grand Parents for example, or just the ones you actually knew is up to you, and your Families… this is an issue I’d certainly be talking over with your Parents on both sides.
Hope this helps,
Post # 9
We’ve actually got it settled now. It took many days for my FIL to decide and get back to me, but we’ll include a list of all grandparents who have died, plain and simple. We’ve also mentioned those grandparents still living but unable to attend. (Due to health issues there will be no grandparents in attendence.)
Post # 10
@ZChick17: I ran into this issue, as well. I was going to acknowledge my mother on the back of the program but my husband raised the issue of acknowledging everyone else, as well. That would include all his grandparents, and both my grandfathers. There was also a question about a memorial candle or photo. Instead of risk leaving anyone out, I didn’t do it all. However, I did put my bouquet on my mothers grave after the wedding.