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Across the Atlantic...

posted 4 months ago in Intercultural
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    mrschristie91012    October 9, 2012   northern ireland

    I recently started a post that (without meaning to) got into a serious debate.

     

    Before I became a fiance, I knew all the little basic things that go into a wedding.

    Im a serious list maker and planner and I knew that I was going to be prepared and ready when my big day came.

    I stumbled across Weddingbee while doing the usual wedding research

    and not being from the US it opened my eyes to the things that you US bees find norm and us over here in N.I wouldnt even think twice about...

    So heres my top 10-

    1. Wedding Website- I still have no clue as to the purpose of this, So if people could explain? haha. 

    2. OOT bags or packs- You can drive across the country in about 3-4 hours, So i had never heard of these before I met other bees.

    3. Rehersal Dinner- I recently read a blog asking would it be rude not to have one and most of the answers said 'Yes it would be.' Or 'No it wouldnt be, but it would be weird. I have been in a few wedding and never been or heard of a rehersal dinner. Theres a rehersal, you show up, do your thing, go home and have a nice relaxing pamper night in prep for the next day.

    4.Jumping the broom- i dont know if this is american or a religeous thing :/ so sorry if im wrong bees. Correct me if i am

    5. Card box- Do people bring cards to the wedding?

    6. Groomsman cake- A cake for the rehersal dinner,right? I have never seen them before but DAMN I WANT ONE! Maybe try and include this somehow in my wedding planning.

    7. Bridesmaid Newsletter- Had never heard of this, But its super cute:)

    8. Aisle Runner- I presume these are for outdoor weddings rather than indoor. As the weather here is generally not on top form I do not know, nor have i heard of anyone even DARE think about an outdoor ceremony. I want one of those rose petal ones, they look AMAZING!

    9. Maps and information card in an invite- Again its a small country, you generally know where your going. If you dont, your dad always does haha.

    10.First look pictures- Even if the couple live together the bride stays at her mums, the groom at his mums/or at home, Not allowed to see each other before the ceremony. But again maybe this is more modern culture, rather than what side of the atlantic you live on.

     

    SO theres my top 10. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG!

    Just thought id share as an outsider looking in.

     

     
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    ladyartichoke       UK

    I'm in the UK and I think  your number 9, maps is really important.  But then, my church is in the middle of nowhere.

    I would like to add Bridal Shower to the list.  I don't understand the difference between this and a hen/bachelorette party.  Or at least I think I do, but don't undertsand the purpose.  So I figured I must be wrong lol.  Sorry Bees, just interested.

     
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    mrschristie91012    October 9, 2012   northern ireland

    @ladyartichoke: Oh yeah bridal shower! I dont know either :/ 

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    1) Wedding Website - this is more for fun and convience.  It gives guests an opportunity to get more information about your wedding so they can plan accordingly, like dress codes, directions, times, etc... Alot of the time there is fun information about the couple, how they met, the bridal party, etc..  I think they are nice, but not a requirement.  I bet a Bee will share a link to theirs so you can see one.  If you would like to try to make one weddingwire.com has a very easy one and is pretty step by step instuctions.

    2) OOT Bags - just a nicety, not required.  Kind of a thank you for folks traveling long distances for your wedding. 

    3)Rehearsal Dinner - It is nice to take those helping with the wedding out to dinner and thank them.  They can be extremely casual or very formal, it is all up to you.  We just did a BBQ at my dads and it was fun.

    4)Jumping the Broom - more cultural than religous here in the state.  I bet that one of the AA brides can give you more of the history about that. 

    5) Card Box - a lot of guests bring cards to the receptions.  Some are good tidings and some include cash or gift cards in leu of gifts.

    6)Groomsman Cake - this is for the reception.  I have never been to a wedding with one, but they are usually a more fun cake expressing something the groom enjoys.

    7)Bridesmaids newletter - that is fun, wish I had seen the idea early enough in my planning

    8) Aisle Runner - you can have these indoors or outdoors.  Indoor venues sometimes have restrictions.  They are just for looks along with the rest of the decor

    9) Maps - Love maps!  Makes it so much easier, especially in the big cities (I always get lost, LOL)

    10)First Look - this is something that I had never heard of before coming to WeddingBee.  I love the picture, but DH didn't want to see me, he is old fashioned.  I do love the new trend of the "hands around the corner" pictures, that way you get the best of both worlds.

     

    What great observations!  Hope I helped clear up a few things ;)

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    @ladyartichoke: It is meant to shower the bride with gifts to start her new life with her husband.  Traditionally brides were moving out of their houses for the first time when they got married, so this was an opportunity to "shower" the bride with things she would need.  Now, it is more tradition to do it rather than the old fashion meaning. 

     
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    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    We do it big here in the US haha - Weddings have become so untraditonal and cater to the specific couple but we do throw in some traditonal aspects. Some of these the wedding industry and blogging world made big, others are pure tradition.

    Wedding Website - not every couple does this but some do. It makes it easier for guests to get all the information they need for the wedding in one location such as driving directions, hotel accomidations, things to do in the area..... It's also great to have in case things change for instance, say the hotel where you blocked rooms is booked solid and you have to add alternate hotels in the area. guests can check back as often as they want to make sure they have the most up to date information. Wedding world is crazy afterall.

    OOT Bags - Also something not every couple chooses to do, def not a tradition but something that has come about more recently. US is huge so most weddings involve some guests who have to travel long distances. OOT bags are more of a nice gesture and a way of making your guests feel welcomed. people put things in there that you might forget like tylenol or tide pens..even maps to get around the area.

    Rehearsal dinner - def more of a tradition but again, not everyone HAS to do it. Usually the rehearsal dinner is paid for by the grooms parents and obviously takes place after the rehearsal. Some people only include family and wedding party (those involved in the rehearsal) while some people invite wedding party and Out of town guests. Its a great opportunity to thank those who are standing up with you and have helped you through planning. More of an intimate pre celebration before the big day. Also this is where you would normally present the grooms cake :) and/or gifts to any of the wedding party or parents.

    Jumping the broom - This is def a tradition, usually among the African American community though wikipedia says it was also common in the UK among the gypsys back in the day. This is one i don't know much about but many other bee's do.

    Card Box - usually goes on the gift table. Most guests bring gifts to a wedding and some chose to give money in a card. Easy way to keep them all in one place so they dont get lost.

    Grooms cake - i did not do this but a lot of people do! its a great way to add some personal touches to your wedding and make your groom feel special haha

    Bridemaid Newsletter - Great way to keep in touch with you wedding party, especially if they are located in different areas of the country. some people would include bridesmaid duties, when dresses need to be paid for...ect...

    Aisle runner - Also a great way to customize your wedding. Can be used indoor and outdoors. Just adds a little something extra to your ceremony space.

    Maps/Info Cards - Again, the US is huge, and a lot of people tend to travel for weddings. Its just a neat little extra to help guests get around. though GPS is great too haha! (note about dads alwyas knowing where to go totally make me laugh out loud)

    First look - People tend to do these so they can get pictures in before the ceremony and so the bride and groom can have an intimate moment before walking down the aisle. Most people will do it with just a photographer to capture the moment, then they will meet up with the bridal party and do pictures before the ceremony begins.

     

    hope this helps!!

     

     
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    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    @tksjewelry: totally beat me to the punch haha. I clearly like to write novels.

     

     
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    smyley    May 2010  

    I'll see if I can help, but not in any particular order.

    Wedding websies are a relaively new thing, designed to give guests more information about hotels, directions, things to do in the area,etc. that would not be included in the invitations. If they were, the invitation packet would be enormous.

    Bridal/wedding showers are parties thrown usually for the bride to be, by her BP or close family and friends, where they 'shower' her with gifts to set up her household. Now they've changed, as many people are living together before marriage, so they need fewer things traditionally than in the past.

    Aisle runners can be used both inside and out, and can be expensive or cheap, that is used to protect the wedding gown from getting dirty as they walk in. People have also used real or silk flowers to line them.

    First looks have become more popular, but many brides still choose to not have the groom see them before they walk down the aisle.

    OOT bags have become a new thing too, and are little gift bags given to the guests on check in to their hotels. Maps, water bottles, snacks...anything the B&G decide woulld be a nice touch for their OOT guests. Not necessary, but often done.

    Rehearsal dinners are done after the rehearsal itself as a way to thank the BP for participating in the wedding and for their support of the couple. Gifts to the parents and BP are given then and its just a nice way to spend some time with them before the big day.

    Haha...looks like others have answered before me, so I won't finish. I type too slow!

     
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    ladyartichoke       UK

    @tksjewelry: Aaah, thank you.  :)

     
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    mrschristie91012    October 9, 2012   northern ireland

    thanks bees:)

     
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    ladyartichoke       UK

    @tksjewelry: "Hands around the corner picture" - such a sweet idea.

     
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    KatNYC2011    September 24, 2011   London, UK (american expat)

    Ok... I can help with some of these.

    1. Wedding website: We had one because every single one of our guests had to travel at least 2 hrs by plane (8 hrs by car) to the wedding. We put the website on the save the dates so people could book their hotels, flights, rental cars, etc early and not have to wait until 1.5 months out when the invites went out to make arrangements. Also, it was a place to have information about local activities for people who wanted to plan a longer trip around the wedding as well as maps of where the ceremony location, reception location, and hotels were.

    We also invited everyone to the rehearsal dinner and morning after brunch so we wanted that info on the site as well so people could plan to be at those events if the schedule permitted.

    2. OOT bags: Again, people were coming from all over the US. We also did these in lieu of favors. They had water bottles, popcorn from Maine, homemade blueberry bundt cakes, sees suckers (CA connection), and CA almonds. There was also a welcome letter with trolley pick up times for the wedding and a map of local attractions in the little town.

    3. Rehearsal Dinner: Again, since everyone was traveling from so far we wanted to provide more entertainment than just the wedding. It was also an opportunity to have a more open "anyone who wants to can toast" event whereas at the wedding the toasts were planned.

    4. Jumping the Broom: I believe this is an African American tradition, someone else can elaborate I am sure.

    5. Card Box: We didn't have one, but people did bring cards (with checks or cash inside) to the wedding. Our DOC held on to them and brought them to the brunch the next morning.

    6. We didn't have a groomsman cake, but they are a cool idea. We had apple crumble for dessert at our rehearsal dinner, it was yummy. Some people have a grooms cake at the wedding and it sits next to the main wedding cake.

    7. We didn't do a bridesmaid newsletter, I actually haven't even heard of that.

    8. Aisle Runner: We didn't have one and we had an outdoor wedding. The ground was SO wet from rain the previous days that it would have been totally muddy. Plus it was hard enough to walk on the wet ground as it was without being tripped up by an aisle runner. They can be really pretty though. I'd say they usually work on hard surfaces (i.e. brick or cobblestone courtyard).

    9. Maps/Info Card: We had an info card in our invite. It laid out the schedule of events for the weekend (so people knew when and where the rehearsal dinner, wedding, reception, and brunch were). We also sent out a letter after we got our RSVPs to let people know about local weather, local attractions, and we included a map in that. Since a lot of people had never been to Maine before we wanted them to feel they had everything they needed to get around.

    10. First Look: We didn't do one, I do think it has more to do with modern culture than what side of the atlantic you are on. I know a lot of people do it so they don't spend a ton of time taking photos after the reception and keep their guests waiting. Our photographer was fantastic (and efficient) so we were only arrived at our reception about 45min after our guests.

     

    @ladyartichoke: As for bridal showers. I didn't have one, but they tend to be an even that happens during the day where all the women come to the hostess's house and bring gifts for the new bride. The bride is "showered" with gifts and opens them all in front of everyone. Usually all the older female relations are invited as well as most female guests. The hen party/bachelorette is more a night out for the bride's friends (without the older female guests/relations).

    Phew.... that was long. Hope that helps!

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    @totheislnds: Great minds ;)

     
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    Atalanta    September 3, 2011  

    Hello!

    My FI is European and I'm American so I made him do many things he'd normally not do :P

    We actually got married in NI and I just wanted to point out about outdoor ceremonies in the UK that it is generally not approved.  There are very few outdoor locations.  I actually had my heart set on one, but the rain location was quite dismal, so that didn't work out.  Anyway, I think the lack of outdoor loactions is the reason for not getting married outside.

     
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    KatNYC2011    September 24, 2011   London, UK (american expat)

    @totheislnds:

    @tksjewelry:

    And I write novels too apparently!

     
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    Jenbee    June 23, 2012  

     

    Ok, here goes! lol

    Wedding website (although I’m not having one) they are a way for people to convey information they don’t want to put on an invite... Such as "No Kids" or where they have registered for gifts. Also gives people a place to put there "story" for other to read, there are places to write how you met and about the proposal. Not everyone does them but some people like to get out a lot of information.

    Out of Town bags are "trendy" they are just a nice way to welcome guest that will be staying in a hotel that are not familiar with the area.

    Rehearsal Dinner is kind of a Must here in the USA... some people do fancy ones other do something more casual, it’s just a nice way to say thank you for participating in our day and taking time out of you lives for us. Also a nice time to mingle and give your bridal party there gifts. :)

    Broom- Don’t know anything about this... might be religious or just superstitious

    Card Box- Yes it is very common here for people to give money at the wedding (instead of an actual gift), and they do this by placing it in a card... some people do card boxes others do baskets, just a place for them to go so they don’t get lost.

    Grooms cake- can be done at either the rehearsal or the wedding... To tell you the truth, I don’t really get it either lol. It’s just another one of those "fun" things you can spend money on!

    Bridesmaid newsletter- I typed updates and costs for my BM's, if you can’t see them all the time it’s a nice way to keep them updated with all of your planning.

    Alie Runner, Another thing to spend money on! lol, just more ways to decorate and yes people use them inside and out....

    Map- Just kind of a fun way of showing people where things are... not really just because people travel far, some people just do it to give you an idea of what’s in the area.

    First look is trendy as well. People do it so that they don’t have to take up there time after the ceremony "during cocktail hour" to do the pictures. Its usually because the couple wants more time to mingle and not have to run off and take pictures. Some people like it because of the "intimate" time they get to spend before all the hustle and bustle. But there are plenty of people who don’t want to do this. And it is very common for the bride and groom to not see each other until the walk down the aisle here as well.

    Ok Bridal Shower... Usually just woman get together (kind of like a baby shower) and this is where you receive your gifts that you registered for. Its usually a brunch meal and gift opening usually all of the woman invited to your wedding are invited to the bridal shower. Bachelorette... is totally different, this is where you get together with close friends and go out for your last "single night" usually consists of a of drinking, clubbing and shot dresses ;) This is also why we get cards at the wedding, you get your gifts at the bridal shower and money at the wedding (for the most part)

    I hope this helps!!

     

     
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    mrschristie91012    October 9, 2012   northern ireland

    You wouldnt want to get married outdoors here.

    I see all these bees talking about Fall weddings

    hows its cooled down enough to be nice and bareable throughout the day and i think 'God help anyone if we had an outdoor wedding (start of October) they'd have frostbite by the time the I Do's kicked in. HA

     

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