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Actual Ceremony Start Time

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    sweetji830    August 8, 2010   Washington, DC

    Hi Bees!

    So on my wedding website, save the date, and my invitation (which I'd have to make and send out soon), it says our ceremony will start at 5PM.  I hired a trio and they told me they'd start playing music at 4:40 while guests arrive, as that's the standard.  But my day-of coordinator at the venue insists that we don't start our ceremony until EVERYONE arrives because she "hates when people keep walking in once the ceremony begins."  I told her that I've been to weddings where majority of guests arrived on time (if not earlier) but the ceremony started like 30min late than they said it would, which I found to be inconsiderate of those who got there on time.  Just because some people can't be punctual, it doesn't mean those who make it on time has to suffer and be bored for 30 minutes.  But she's so adamant about starting it late, and says I should trust her b/c she's done hundreds of weddings and starting the ceremony 20min late is the norm.  Is it true? Did all your guests come late or did they make it on time? Did you start your ceremony on time as it said on the invitation?

    Thanks for your advice!

     
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    trugem    January 2011  

    I've heard of weddings starting late, and I have never liked it. I have been to a wedding that has started an hour late. I can understand ten-fifteen minutes, but nothing over 30.

     
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    Busy bee
    Daisylynn    August 22, 2010   Monterey, California

    I agree with trugem 10-15 minutes is acceptable.  I think the ceremony should only start late for good reason though; not because your day of coordinator hate guests walking in late.  You should let her know that you will be starting the cermony at the time stated on the invitations and that if guests arrive late they are more then welcomed to sit in the back so as not to disturb the ceremony.  I have been to a few weddings and they have all started roughly on time, not 30 minutes to an hour later.  Good luck!!!

     
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    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    I was late to a wedding the other day, and will never forgive myself! We got there maybe 13 minutes after the start time, and I'm guessing we missed 5-7 minutes of the ceremony. We were devastated! We did just hang up the back but everyone heard us open the door and also running up to the building (DH yelling at me to run and me yelling back that I was wearing stilettos!) because all the windows were open. We were in a foreign country and the invtation didn't have an address on it, so the GPS didn't know where we were going.

    My point is, there might be someone driving around in circles nearly in tears desperate to get to your wedding :) If you can hold off 10-15 minutes that would be much appreciated (especially if you have a small enough guest list that a head count by the best man is feasible)! I agree though that anything over 20 minutes is pretty bad, and disrespectful to the people who are more organised!

     
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    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I have a really small guest list (50 guests), and I am sorry, but we will start on time. If they aren't there on time (we will be providing directions), then too bad so sad. I think it is very rude for guests to not arrive on time. With the exception of you mountain.bride, 99% of the late comers are late because they are always late. If it is a half hour drive to some place I need to be, I allow myself an hour to get there; just in case.

     
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    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    Noritake if you provide directions then I think you will be ok. 99% of the guests were locals so the couple didn't see the need to include an address or a map (I helped the bride with her invites, and even agreed with her!, but that was before I knew I was a guest). We were 5 minutes away from the venue and left 20 minutes before the ceremony was due to start (it was supposed to be 30 minutes before, we were delayed due to the B&B owner taking forever to iron DH's shirt - but that's another issue!). We flew 24 hours to go to that wedding and it kills me I didn't even get to see the bride walk in, even though the best man apparently did a head count (for a 30 person guest list). I've never been late to a wedding in my life and won't be again, that's for sure! I'd rather sit there for an hour waiting than do that to another couple!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    EvaBostonTerrier    July 3, 2010  

    So this may be harsh, but we are starting our wedding on time and my coordinator (President of the venue we are using) has says that she does not allow guests in the building after the beginning of the ceremony.  It is just too distracting (especially because of the proximity of the ceremony location to the main doors).  I was fine with that, but I really hope no one is late.  If a person such as a grandparent is late, we would hold off starting, but if our friends are late, not so much.

     
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    Newbee
    nick-ster    September 11, 2010   Seattle, WA

    On our invites we put the start time 30 min before our actual start time because we know our friends and how punctual they are not. =)

     
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    Blushing bee
    kamiie    August 29, 2010  

    I'm going the same as nickster...Invites say 5, wedding starts at 5:30...and it WILL start on time...my coordinator will make sure of that :)

     
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    Sugar bee
    alivoo01    September 18, 2010   Dallas, TX

    I totally did not think about the "delayed" start to a ceremony! I wish I would have put the time for the ceremony 30 minutes prior to the actual start time on the invites because I want to start at the stated time! DOH! Sigh.... Guess I can wait 10 minutes - max - to the start of my ceremony.

     
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    Honey bee
    LGenz    May 21, 2011   New Jersey, Wedding in Clearwater, FL

    I'm starting on time no matter what, we based our entire schedule around the sunset (beach wedding) and the sun will not wait on us

     
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    Bumble bee
    sailor    May 2010  

    As somebody who is always on time, I really, really dislike when the invitation is printed with a bogus start time.  If the wedding doesn't start on time or very close to it, I start thinking that the bride or groom got cold feet or something.

     
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    trugem    January 2011  

    I can think of an exception: the weather. If it is raining cats and dogs, and most guests are running late, then I would be okay with being about 30 minutes late. I don't want people to get into an accident rushing to my wedding.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Talishazwi    January 16, 2011   Seattle, WA

    I am putting 3pm on the invites but will probably start the ceremony at 3:10.  And I have instructed my DOC that if anyone is later than that, they can stand outside until everyone is seated.  I'm making them wait outside because the door to the ceremony is right where I walk in.  If they stand just inside, they will be in all my pictures.  I'm always on time but am allowing 5-10 min.

     
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    Busy bee
    Osakagrl    May 8th 2010   Sacramento , CA

    Yeah I am also a very time aware person. I am always on time if not early!

    We are starting regardless. I have handed out directions so they should be there.

    Also, has anyone heard of Mapquest? In this day and age unless there is traffic there is no reason to be late. :\

     
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    Beekeeper
    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    You should start on time. If anything, maybe 5 minutes late as some awful guests will arrive right at 5 not wanting to waste any time waiting in the church. We are starting right on time (hopefully!!) and if people are late, that's their loss. We have a tight schedule and I want guests in and out as quick as possible!

     
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    Sugar bee
    camrie    September 5, 2010   Louisville

    Our venue is a bit confusing so I'll allow for late arrivals up to 10 minutes after the given start time - after that I'm having them be asked to wait till the end.

    I totally understand people getting there late because of unforseen delays - but if it were me as a guest I would opt to wait outside and not disrupt the service.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Joshs Girl    July 16, 2010  

    We will begin @ 7:00 just like the invitation states.  However, anyone arriving after 6:50 will be sent to the balcony!

     
    19.
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    Bumble bee
    MrsH1010       Chicago, IL

    I will, under absolutely no circumstance, start any later than 5-10 mins past my designated start time (3pm). My FMIL (who isnt my biggest fan) told me she has never been to a wedding that started on time and I in turn told her I was happy to be her first. I dont care what happens, my wedding will start on time. I have no respect for people who show up "fashionably late" to a wedding. I will be instructing my ushers not to allow anyone in who is late once I walk down the aisle, and they will be forced to wait in the church foyer until the ceremony is over.

     
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    Busy bee
    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    A little harsh, no? I'm with Nick-ster.  We put 6:30 on our invitation for wedding (in June - yikes) in the knowledge that we're gonna start at 7.  No question 'bout it.  People are people.  Easy.  All our vendors (some of whom I can't stand by now -- hehe) know that's the deal and so the timeline is structured that way... ceremony from 7 to 7:30 and, Oh God, get me through this! But at least let all my guests get there, be comfortable and happy and I can always use the extra time!

     
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    Worker bee
    Future Mrs. Blocker    July 17, 2010   Columbus, Ga

    my invitations are printed for 4:30 and at 4:30 my ushers hae been advised to begin escorting parents and grandparents at 4:35 the first bridesmaid will be on her way down the isle and me no later than 4:40. no one will be allowed to enter after me sorry... we ae getting mrried outside in ga in july and i refuse to make my guests wait in the heat for someone who is chosing to be late  

     

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