Post # 1
So on my wedding website, save the date, and my invitation (which I’d have to make and send out soon), it says our ceremony will start at 5PM. I hired a trio and they told me they’d start playing music at 4:40 while guests arrive, as that’s the standard. But my day-of coordinator at the venue insists that we don’t start our ceremony until EVERYONE arrives because she “hates when people keep walking in once the ceremony begins.” I told her that I’ve been to weddings where majority of guests arrived on time (if not earlier) but the ceremony started like 30min late than they said it would, which I found to be inconsiderate of those who got there on time. Just because some people can’t be punctual, it doesn’t mean those who make it on time has to suffer and be bored for 30 minutes. But she’s so adamant about starting it late, and says I should trust her b/c she’s done hundreds of weddings and starting the ceremony 20min late is the norm. Is it true? Did all your guests come late or did they make it on time? Did you start your ceremony on time as it said on the invitation?
Thanks for your advice!
Post # 3
I’ve heard of weddings starting late, and I have never liked it. I have been to a wedding that has started an hour late. I can understand ten-fifteen minutes, but nothing over 30.
Post # 4
I agree with trugem 10-15 minutes is acceptable. I think the ceremony should only start late for good reason though; not because your day of coordinator hate guests walking in late. You should let her know that you will be starting the cermony at the time stated on the invitations and that if guests arrive late they are more then welcomed to sit in the back so as not to disturb the ceremony. I have been to a few weddings and they have all started roughly on time, not 30 minutes to an hour later. Good luck!!!
Post # 5
I was late to a wedding the other day, and will never forgive myself! We got there maybe 13 minutes after the start time, and I’m guessing we missed 5-7 minutes of the ceremony. We were devastated! We did just hang up the back but everyone heard us open the door and also running up to the building (DH yelling at me to run and me yelling back that I was wearing stilettos!) because all the windows were open. We were in a foreign country and the invtation didn’t have an address on it, so the GPS didn’t know where we were going.
My point is, there might be someone driving around in circles nearly in tears desperate to get to your wedding 🙂 If you can hold off 10-15 minutes that would be much appreciated (especially if you have a small enough guest list that a head count by the best man is feasible)! I agree though that anything over 20 minutes is pretty bad, and disrespectful to the people who are more organised!
Post # 6
I have a really small guest list (50 guests), and I am sorry, but we will start on time. If they aren’t there on time (we will be providing directions), then too bad so sad. I think it is very rude for guests to not arrive on time. With the exception of you mountain.bride, 99% of the late comers are late because they are always late. If it is a half hour drive to some place I need to be, I allow myself an hour to get there; just in case.
Post # 7
Noritake if you provide directions then I think you will be ok. 99% of the guests were locals so the couple didn’t see the need to include an address or a map (I helped the bride with her invites, and even agreed with her!, but that was before I knew I was a guest). We were 5 minutes away from the venue and left 20 minutes before the ceremony was due to start (it was supposed to be 30 minutes before, we were delayed due to the B&B owner taking forever to iron DH’s shirt – but that’s another issue!). We flew 24 hours to go to that wedding and it kills me I didn’t even get to see the bride walk in, even though the best man apparently did a head count (for a 30 person guest list). I’ve never been late to a wedding in my life and won’t be again, that’s for sure! I’d rather sit there for an hour waiting than do that to another couple!
Post # 8
So this may be harsh, but we are starting our wedding on time and my coordinator (President of the venue we are using) has says that she does not allow guests in the building after the beginning of the ceremony. It is just too distracting (especially because of the proximity of the ceremony location to the main doors). I was fine with that, but I really hope no one is late. If a person such as a grandparent is late, we would hold off starting, but if our friends are late, not so much.
Post # 9
On our invites we put the start time 30 min before our actual start time because we know our friends and how punctual they are not. =)
Post # 10
I’m going the same as nickster…Invites say 5, wedding starts at 5:30…and it WILL start on time…my coordinator will make sure of that 🙂
Post # 11
I totally did not think about the “delayed” start to a ceremony! I wish I would have put the time for the ceremony 30 minutes prior to the actual start time on the invites because I want to start at the stated time! DOH! Sigh…. Guess I can wait 10 minutes – max – to the start of my ceremony.
Post # 12
I’m starting on time no matter what, we based our entire schedule around the sunset (beach wedding) and the sun will not wait on us
Post # 13
As somebody who is always on time, I really, really dislike when the invitation is printed with a bogus start time. If the wedding doesn’t start on time or very close to it, I start thinking that the bride or groom got cold feet or something.
Post # 14
I can think of an exception: the weather. If it is raining cats and dogs, and most guests are running late, then I would be okay with being about 30 minutes late. I don’t want people to get into an accident rushing to my wedding.
Post # 15
I am putting 3pm on the invites but will probably start the ceremony at 3:10. And I have instructed my DOC that if anyone is later than that, they can stand outside until everyone is seated. I’m making them wait outside because the door to the ceremony is right where I walk in. If they stand just inside, they will be in all my pictures. I’m always on time but am allowing 5-10 min.
Post # 16
Yeah I am also a very time aware person. I am always on time if not early!
We are starting regardless. I have handed out directions so they should be there.
Also, has anyone heard of Mapquest? In this day and age unless there is traffic there is no reason to be late. :