Post # 1
I have 3 BMs. One is in grad school in another state, one is an airhead/might be pregnant/works two jobs, and one works over 50hrs a week. I’m not super close with my family or his….Im not getting any help here!! Everythings on my shoulders and I cant rely on anyone! No one wants to do a bridal shower, or help find dresses or do a bachlorette party. UGH!
Tthinking of adding another BM to make things happen, but I’m 4.5 mo. away from the wedding. I wanted to add her b4, and she asked me to be in her wedding…But is it too late??? Plus she might clash with another BM who is also the “boss” type. Should I just ride the wave and do it all myself…and finally learn to delagate?
Post # 3
I don’t think you should base the decision on the fact that the others are not helpful. I just don’t think it’s fair to the new possible 4th BM. I know it would not be a compliment to me if I was asked to be a BM because of that reason only. Ya know? Other people may have other input much different then me. I think you should send a note to your BM’s. The one in grad school has a break soon, doesn’t she? I work a lot of hours, but try to get the one that works a lot to have lunch and run by things. The other one, lol, I just don’t know what to say.
You always have us bees to bounce ideas off!!!
Post # 4
No thats true. I dont want to offend anyone. And I know that it could cause some weird feelings this late in the game. I guess I’m having such a hard time b/c I DID want her in the wedding, but picked another girl I kinda felt obligated to ask b/c I’ve known her longer. I feel like the 4th should really be in it…and now more then ever since shed really be able to help out/shes the only on my FI actually feels comfortable talking to haha. What a mess. I wish I knew from the begining that my FI didnt care if we had even numbers 🙁
I’m glad I have you bees!! Thank you!!!
Post # 5
It is hard to tell with just this post because I don’t know your relationships with these girls. However the fact that you are wanting someone to throw you a shower and other responsibilities seems to be unfair to the newest one. Unfortunately you knew how difficult it was having the ones you picked when you picked them, and you may not have the pre-wedding excitement you are hoping for, but be glad to have them there for the day of your wedding.
Post # 6
If you say you really want her in your wedding because you value her friendship and want her to share that day with you, then tell her that. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to add her in late in the game– if a friend told me that she realized she wanted me there and didn’t care about odd numbers anymore, I wouldn’t find it insulting.
However if you want her just to do work for you, then that’s a little rude.
Post # 7
Oh you guys are good THANK YOU!!! I should have joined a long time ago!!! Its nice to have an outsiders point of view 🙂