add or not to add!????

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

………absolutely not okay?

Post # 4
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s rude. Don’t put your kids on the RSVP if kids aren’t invited.

Post # 5
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ambergirl: We’re allowing kids at our wedding, but if we weren’t, and someone did this knowing that it was adult only, then I’d be a bit ticked and would make it a point to tell them again that it was adult-only. That’s just rude.

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ambergirl: Completely not ok. If the invitation offends you, send your regrets.

Post # 8
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ambergirl:  I have no problem with a little tag line that reads “adults only reception” – I think it’s rude when people assume their children are invited to formal affairs. 

Post # 9
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

it’s not acceptable to just add anyone! I can’t stand when people do that. FH mom wanted to do that to his cousins wedding I was like “noooo do not do that!” I don’t get why people think it is okay to me it is rude! I would definitely talk to that person and gentle and calmly explain that it is an adult wedding

Post # 10
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with the PPs.  totally rude to add a name 

Post # 11
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sinfulli2sweet:  If anyone does this for our wedding they will be getting an angry Groomzilla phone call.  Our reception venue can only accomodate 80 people, and we are planning to have exactly as many guests as we can accomodate.  So, each of your kids would actually have to bump another guest from the list.

Post # 12
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ambergirl:  The people who did this to us said they just assumed their whole family was invited. But I’ve heard stories of other people who think it’s rude that their kids weren’t invited so they just put them on the RSVP. Maybe out of spite?

Post # 13
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Absolutely not ok. I don’t know if you’ll find anyone on the Bee who thinks that’s a good idea, but that opinion may come up every once in a while among people who have never had to plan/pay for an event, and don’t understand good etiquette and manners. 

 

Post # 14
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Not okay, not even a little.  The only people who should RSVP are the ones invited.  I can understand it with people who really thought the whole family was invited, or haven’t planned a large event like a wedding before.  But if they know your kids are not invited and list them just to make a point then that is very rude.

Post # 15
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

@ambergirl:  If one is offended, then one declines. That is the only alternative a guest has to accepting. Changing the invitation is simply not possible: just as you can write an extra “00,000” after the “1” on a one-dollar bill: it doesn’t change what you’ve got, it just shows that you are delusional. If you cross out “wedding” on the invitation and write in “bar mitzvah” it does not change the bride into a thirteen-year-old male. And if you cross out “Mr and Mrs Smith” and write in “Mr and Mrs Smith, Miss Smith, Miss Suzy, and Master Joey” it does not mean that the little Smiths will be welcome or that there will be food and place-settings for them when they arrive.

It does, however, warn the bride ahead of time so that she can station a bouncer at the door to her reception salon with a list of invited guests and instructions not to admit anyone not on the list.

Post # 16
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Completely rude and unacceptable.

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