Post # 1
I need some help and advice. I recently got married in June 2012. About two months after our wedding, things began to change…for the worst. We fought about finances, his mother constantly borrowing money from him, not wanting to put me on his health insurance plan unless I pay for it, his mother on his life insurance policy, etc. We have recently been ok and things began to slowly get better. We are currently renting a 3 bedroom home and looking to buy a home. NOW, alot of added stress has been added to our relationship, my sister and her boyfriend split up and asked to move into our house for a few months. She has two kids… My husband didn’t really want to talk about it and says he didn’t have a say in the decision. I didn’t know what to do, I cant leave my sister and her two kids out on the streets. I am also annoyed with the situation, I had to clear out all of my spare bedrooms and I feel her things are taking over my house. Is it healthy to have your sister and two kids living with you only after months of being married? I am so upset and cry all the time. I can’t take this any longer. What should I do? I am open to suggestions and advice.
Post # 3
@blingbride623: I would have a serious talk with your husband about how HE would feel with your sister and her kids in your apartment, I would say the only way to make this fair to all is to put a limit on how long your sister can move in for, and COMMIT to that, I would say 3 weeks would be fair, but after that, she should really find somewhere else to stay. Your husband didn’t sign up to live with you, your sister and her kids. I would say to keep your new marriage happy and fair, this is a situation where COMPROMISE should really be practiced!!
Post # 4
I think the three of you need to sit down and put a timeline together of when it is expected for her to move out. This would release pressure between your DH and you and give you all something to move towards.
Post # 5
I think the bigger issue here is that you can’t agree with finances! It’s the number one reason for divorce. You really need to sit down and discuss that first and discuss how long your sister can stay second.
Post # 6
@blingbride623: I would make sure your sister knows that it is temporary and that she needs to work to find her own place to live again. Is there anywhere else she can go? Is she employed? Does she have plans for employment? Does she know what she wants to do? Have a time frame?
It’s not necessarily healthy or unhealthy…it depends on how everyone is dealing with it. If everyone is on the same page, it could be healthy and beneficial to everyone. Your sister could help out in ways she can while she gets back on her feet. If you’re already having issues, it could exacerbate them, so you’re really going to have to be on the same page with your husband. Try counseling?