Post # 1
There’s this friend that I used to be very close with but we had a falling out a few years back. We have just started talking again the past year or two and have hung out in groups since then. She has been very instrumental when my fiance and I met about 5 years ago bc I was able to meet my fiance on the way from visiting her for New Years 05-06. So, I have been debating adding her or not. I have 6 wonderful girls and my fiance has 7. I didn’t care about being uneven and but it would make us even if I had her.
She has proved to be a good friend. She came out for my birthday in February, the day before he proposed, she sent me a gorgeous flower arrangement for our engagement party and I was just blown away (the other 5 bridesmaids who couldn’t make it didn’t do anything). I asked her to get together for dinner soon and she said she’d like that and we’re now trying to plan a date. This will be the first time in a long time that it will jst be the two of us. I truly miss her as a friend and I would like to get close to her again. I’m sure she’d be honored to be a bridesmaid. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have been able to meet my fiance when I did (and he proposed to me in Penn station, where we first met because I was on the way home from her house.) the night he proposed I called her because he wanted to take a picture in the spot where we met so we were trying to figure out the track that goes from her town to Penn station. What do you think?
Post # 3
I think you should add her if you really want to. Just make sure that all the issues involved in the falling out have been resolved because honestly, weddings stress everyone.
Post # 4
As long as you are both truly over whatever caused your falling out (and its something that is unlikely to come up again) I would ask her. It sounds like she is an important part of your life.
Post # 5
I agree with PP. I added a bridesmaid after asking the original 4 girls and I am so thankful I did. The 5th girl has been a huge help in planning and it’s really worked out well. Glad you’re talking to your friend again!
Post # 6
Thank you for all your advice and support!
We are both over the issue that caused the falling out (It’s a long story but it was sorority drama and I felt she didn’t appreciate me helping her out and would boss me around so my big sis in the sorority convinced me to write a letter…she wrote it for me, I gave it to her, and it was really hurtful and I felt awful). This was in 2006 and we stopped talking for a few years…she wouldn’t forgive me. I thought about her all the time though. I became close with another girl, who I’m not close with anymore, and the friend recently told me she disliked her because she was another reason that the two of us “broke up,” because I was closer with this other girl after the falling out & went to Israel with her instead. I never knew this before.
Side note: The big sis that wrote the letter is in the bridal party. I’ve talked to her about adding my friend and she thinks it’s a bad idea. I just think that she isn’t in my shoes and if she was then she would understand our relationship. My mom thinks it’s a good idea, I just have to run it by my fiance now.
Anyone else had this situation? Did it work out well?
Post # 7
if you want to add her then go ahead (i think you should since everything has been resolved), but be prepared for the big sis and your other friend to not get along or at least be awkward…mom’ s usually know best and can give good advice on stuff like this i think…go with your gut feeling…would you miss her if she wasn’t a BM?