Post # 1
My bf and I have been living together for almost 5 years and by the time we are married will be over 6! We have accumulated so much over the years that we honestly don’t need anything else. A friend of mine told me about a honeymoon registry where people can donate to our honeymoon instead of buying gifts from a store. I really like this idea, but what is good etiquette regarding a honeymoon registry?
I have gotten wedding invites in the past where people put their gift registry inside with the invitation. I have heard a lot about it being improper to add a registry in with your invite and that guests are supposed to ask your MOH or parents where you are registered.
The problem we have is not everyone who is invited to our wedding know each other nor do they have means of getting a hold of someone other than my bf and I to find out where we are registered. How tacky is it to add something like this, like on a separate card, in with your invite? Would it be better to make a wedding website and put the website link on the card instead of our honeymoon registry on it? I would think that not everybody would go to the link on the card if they think its just a wedding website.
Post # 3
Also, would it be a good idea to add a card with our wedding website in with a save the date?
Post # 4
I am adding in a registry card, some peole say it’s bad ettiquite but in Australia I haven’t not received what the bride groom wants with the invites, it’s usually the gift regristry card or the wishing well card. I’m doing a mix of both as we have lived together since 2006.
Post # 5
I’m not a bride to be but a MIL2BE
I think setting up a honeymoon registry is a great idea. When people give a gift, they want it to be something YOU want. Go fo it! I actually suggested that to my son and soon to be DIL
Post # 6
I did a honeymoon registry and put a card in with my invites. The only feedback that I have gotten from guests about it is that they think the honeymoon registry is a cool idea. I think people like to know what you want so they are guessing and getting you something that you will probably end up taking back.
Post # 7
I’m going to have a wishing well. They have really cool poems that you can look up, so it won’t seem rude to be asking for money or anything.
Post # 8
We also had a honeymoon registry (through a travel agent) and put in it with the envelope.
We brought a house together 5 years before our wedding so had everything we needed. We had absolutely no complaints at all – only people commenting on what a good idea it is.
We weren’t the first of our group of friends to do it and we wont be the last eithor!
Post # 9
It is in extremely bad taste to include registry information with an invitation. That should go by word of mouth. I’ve received invitations with registry information in them, and while I realise it is a growing trend, the popularity of it doesn’t make it right. I personally refuse to get gifts for couples who advertise on their invitations that they want gifts. I think it is rude of them to assume that I even want to get them anything and rude of them to tell me where to shop for them. If I wanted to know where they were registered, I would call and ask them or ask someone in the bridal party. Failing that, I would ask another guest at the wedding and then buy something shortly thereafter.
Post # 11
I live far away from my folks so I’m asking for money or gift vouchers rather than gifts. I myself prefer to give a couple money to be honest, and I think your honeymoon thing is a good idea. It saves all sorts of hassle for you and for your guests plus they are all contributing to something that you will have memories of for a lifetime and not something that’s going to stay in its box in a cupboard and never get used.
Post # 12
As wedding websites are a new thing and some older guests might not have the Internet this may be tricky. Can’t some of the not so Internet savvy older guests be asked to send you something like a money order or something? Options on how to send the money should be printed on a card which should be included inside the invitation envelope.
Post # 13
We’re including our registry information as an invitation enclosure. I certainly wouldn’t be offended by it, but the etiquette is a little different in Australia.
Post # 14
I didn’t add our registry info in with our invite. I don’t have any problem with people who do that though. I kind of wanted to but then decided we wouldn’t do it. Most of my side knows where we’re registered at and maybe his parents will spread the word for us.
Post # 15
I’m not against honeymoon registries, although you should be aware that some people do think they are tacky. But whatever, you can let that roll off your back. However, it is in poor taste to put the registry information in the wedding invitation.
I want to add one caution. Even if the honeymoon registry is your primary registry, I would still really really urge you to have a small traditional registry. Maybe you don’t put it on your website and it only goes out in shower invites. But the reason is that people want to give physical gifts for showers and parties (and some for the wedding but at least in my area, that is less common).
People WILL get you physical gifts for showers. Wouldn’t you rather have an impact on either what those items are or what store they come from so you can easily exchange them or get store credit?
I’ve been on my own for 10 years, own my own home, am totally set up, etc. FI has been on his own for several years and also has his home mostly set up. We’re still going to do a traditional registry – it’s a good time to consider replacing some items (for me, 10 year old ratty towels, new sheets, etc).
Post # 16
@NAvery: What great advice!!!
@Daisymh: I was really worried that people were going to go on and on and on about how rude honeymoon registries are, but I think they are super practical and not rude at all. I have had so many people call our parents to ask if we would rather cash or gifts. I almost wish we had set up a honeymoon registry!