No newer images
more by amandaR
gocco + stardream = will it dry?
Same Wedding Dress
more in Etiquette
help with a moh
email/phone rsvp
more in Boards
Controlling?

Address for RSVP Return Envelope???

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    amandaR    April 25, 2009   Chicago

    If my parents are paying for our wedding, and the invitation is worded such that they are the hosts, should the RSVPs be sent to their address?  Or could they be sent to us?  I can't remember ever paying attention to this before, but suppose I assumed the RSVP went to the couple getting married.  However, now that I think about it, it seems the RSVP should go to the people throwing the party.  What is proper etiquette?

    Thank you in advance!

     
    2.
    Hostess
    1,542 posts
    Bumble bee
    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    I"m not Miss Etiquette ... but I think that you are right - it should be going to your parents.  If you can trust them with keeping track then I think it will be best to have the RSVPs sent to them.  Maybe you could create a prepared box (from a shoe box?) with a side for "yes" and a side for "no" ... that way when you see them you can go through and double check.

    Attachments

    1. Address for RSVP Return Envelope??? :  wedding rsvp address envelope Img crystal_lavender.jpg (8.2 KB, 64 downloads) 2 years old
     
    3.
    Hostess
    3,054 posts
    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    My parents are hosting and the RSVP's are going to their house, the gifts will be sent there as well.  I plan on just having them call me and let me know who said yes or no whenever they get them in the mail and then picking up the RSVP cards every so often. 

     
    4.
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    V      

    Ask your parents! I would love to get RSVPs in the mail as a bride. If it's a huge guest list they might not even want to deal with it.

     
    5.
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    hbowar    May 15th, 2009   San Jose, CA & MN

    I think you are right, but see if your parents want to deal with that.  Both of our parents are contributing and everything is coming from and returning to us.  I don't have the patience to have my parents deal with them and let me know.  We also don't live in the same state as them.

     
    6.
    Hostess
    1,052 posts
    Bumble bee
    BeachBrideT    5/09   Florida

    I'm doing it the *formal* way-- since my parents are "requesting the honor of their presence" by sending the invitation and throwing the wedding, I am having all of the RSVPs go to my parents. My mom said she would keep all of the replies and I could come get them each week and open them, but I think I'll just let her open them! There's so much for me to be excited about throughout this whole process, so this is a good fun thing for my parents (my mom in particular).

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    haselwand    12/20/08   Indiana/Las Vegas

    My husband and I lived together, out of state while planning our Indiana wedding so the RSVPs came to me at our address even though my parents were hosting. I never even thought twice about having them sent to my parents' house and gifts were sent to us as well. However, if you are that worried about it I'd ask your parents! They might not want the responsbility and you might want to get the rsvps! I did, we left room for people to write a note and I really enjoyed reading them.

     
    8.
    Member
    1,205 posts
    Bumble bee
    mdarrah    4/4/09   Los Angeles, CA

    Talk to your parents on this one. I had intedned on addressing them to us so we did the counting and tallying etc. I said that to my mom and she flipped her lid!  She's hosting, its her thing, the RSVPs should go to her.  She would have ratherd I did the counting and the work, but she thought people would be confused about who's hosting and shes uber concerned with what Emily Post would say.  My advice - talk to her cause you just never know.

     
    9.
    Member Icon
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    mrsmike    8/9/09  

    My parents are paying for 90%, though to be gracious we included both his and my parents names on the invitation.  However, I have handled basically all the planning and my parents are 700 miles away from me, and from the wedding.  My mom thought it made sense for the RSVPs to go to her but she let me put my address on instead.  I'm kind of anal retentive (about my own wedding?  Noooo...) so I wanted to be in control of it, but also, she invited so many of her out of town friends and extended family that we had to leave off some of our local friends... and once enough "no's" come in... we get to invite more of our friends!  Ask your parents - I was shocked at how laid back mine were on certain etiquette details.

     
    10.
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    hannahmarie327    August 7th, 2009   Denver, CO

    My parents are paying for most of the wedding and getting the RSVPs. I just have a guest list manager on the knot, gave my mom the password and she updates it as she gets RSVPs. She is also keeping them all just to double check the final head count.

    Attachments

    1. Address for RSVP Return Envelope??? :  wedding rsvp address envelope Img Back.jpg (99.3 KB, 109 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Address for RSVP Return Envelope??? :  wedding rsvp address envelope Img Detail.jpg (129.2 KB, 65 downloads) 1 year old
    3. Address for RSVP Return Envelope??? :  wedding rsvp address envelope Img Front.jpg (100.8 KB, 109 downloads) 1 year old
    4. Address for RSVP Return Envelope??? :  wedding rsvp address envelope Img Unknown.jpeg (2.4 KB, 57 downloads) 1 year old
     
    11.
    Member
    1,038 posts
    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I had them sent to my parents' house since we were in the process of moving.  Otherwise, we would have had them sent to our place.

     
    12.
    Member Icon
    Member
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    FutureMrsBLT    September 12, 2009   Washington, DC

    They are being sent to my parents but since we only live 6 miles away they are instructed not to open any of them...I'll just pick them up a couple times a week and open them with my FH.

     
    13.
    Member Icon
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    ChrissyM    9/5/09   NJ

    The traditional etiquette says that if your parents are hosting, the RSVPs go to their house. That's what we did -- I was a little disappointed because I was looking forward to getting all the fun mail, but like mdarrah's mom, my mom felt strongly that we needed to do it the "proper" way. Since they are paying an arm and a leg for all this, I guess my parents really just wanted it to be clear who exactly is hosting the event!  

     
    14.
    Member
    2,961 posts
    Sugar bee
    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    I am having the RSVPs being sent to my parents since our landlord is selling the house we are in we didn't want to take a chance on us moving before the RSVPs come rolling in.

     
    15.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    4,047 posts
    Honey bee
    hamster    May 30, 2010  

    I think the "proper" etiquette is to have the RSVP's sent to your parents' house, since they are hosting.  However, if you would rather have the fun of receiving the RSVPs, I'm sure many people wouldn't even notice if you had it sent to your address (unless they are planning weddings themselves)

     
    16.
    Member Icon
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    tifnicole      

    Just another question related to this one, what if it's worded "TOGETHER WITH OUR PARENTS...."

     
    17.
    Hostess
    3,884 posts
    Honey bee
    caszos    June 2010   Florida

    I think if its worded Together With Our Parents then it can go to either address.  I know my mom said we can have the cards sent to our house since she knows it will be fun to get mail every day.

     
    18.
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    sarabride    August 27, 2010   Norfolk UK

    My invites are from my parents and i ma putting their address on the RSVP envelopes x

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 22
    MsPanda 14
    aduarte3201 14
    pengoala 11
    ShellVee 10
    ladyartichoke 10
    ndreighton 10
    londonchick 9
    likelimeade 8
    londonpeach84 8

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    tnanog 3
    likelimeade 2
    fishbone 2
    aspasia475 1
    PinkPinstripes 1
    j_jaye 1
    WestCoast 1
    eagle 1
    Mrs.Lonestar 1
    auggiefrog 1
    More