Post # 1
Here’s the scenario: a female friend of my FI’s will be invited to the wedding. She recently got engaged, so she will be getting a +1, and we expect her to bring her FI. However, she lives out of state, so we have never met her FI. I feel funny addressing the envelope to someone I have never met…
So do I go with Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Smith
Or Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe?
Or Ms. Jane Smith & Guest?
What is proper? I just imagine John getting the invite and being all, “Who the hell are these people?”
Post # 3
I’d go with the second option (do they live together?). I definitely would not do “& guest”
Post # 4
I would opt for
Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Smith
He won’t be confused- as someone getting married he will be getting used to being formally addressed
Post # 5
@primcess: You should definitely list his name, although I’m not sure which name should go first. Probably hers?
E.g., Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe.
Post # 6
Absolutely use his name if you know it (and find out what it is if you don’t). I’d put her name first – not sure if it matters though. It’s not weird to receive an invitation with your name on it from someone you don’t know but your partner does. It’s quite nice, because it shows that you’re being invited specifically as the important person in your partner’s life, and not just that you get to go to fill in a “plus one” spot.
Post # 7
I do know his full name, and we think they live together.
Post # 8
If the couple lives together, address the invitation to:
“Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Smith”
It’s the order you would use if they were married, after all… just because you don’t know him, doesn’t mean that their relationship doesn’t deserve the customary order. Ordering them differently than is standard would be particularly apparent to a couple who is reading up on formal correspondence etiquette as they plan a wedding.
Under no circumstance should you address this envelope “and Guest” – it’s hurtful to not use the name of a guest in an established couple. (It’s also generally incorrect – every guest should be invited by name.)
If the couple does NOT live together, each of the partners should get an invitation addressed in their own name, at their own home. If you really think that John won’t know who you & FH are, then you can send his invitation to your friends home – but it should still be a second invitation addressed to Mr. John Doe, c/o Ms. Jane Smith.
Post # 9
I agree with PPs. Definately use his name and I’d put hers first, but I think either way is fine.