(Closed) Addressing etiquette for unique family situations

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

#1.  I think you are correct.  Mr. John Smith and Dr. Jane Doe

#2.  Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jame Smith (all one line would be fine I think)

#3.  I think it depends on the couple and you should ask your Fiance about this one.  I think Rev. is probably more appropriate.  

Post # 6
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Couple 1 – that is fine.

Couple 2 – if they’re divorced (obviously divorced, like it’s been a while) I would give them two separate invitations. This is the etiquette you do for any adult mothers living with adult children, so I would think it is a similar situation.

Couple 3 – I would just say Mr. and Mrs. If they are in a non-denominational church you never know if they are Reverend or Pastor or what. And they are probably used to being called Mr. & Mrs. anyway. If you are still unsure about it, I would forego the formality and just put John & Jane Smith.

Post # 7
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

You would definitely use Ms., not Mrs., in the second situation.  She is no longer married through choice (as opposed to becoming single through something like widowhood), so she’s a Ms. now.

Post # 9
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You should check an old-school Emily Post kind of manual on this, but I believe a doctor outranks a husband, so she should go first, if you’re following old school etiquette. So Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. Bob Jones.

Post # 10
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Traditionally you put the higher ranking first so in our complicated invites it read:

Major General Jane Doe and Colonel John Smith and family

Post # 12
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If your wedding isn’t terribly formal, you could consider just addressing the invites less formally.  That’s the route we took …we have lots of friends with female doctors, ect.  Most invites were just addressed :  Jane and John Doe (leaving out the Doctor thing all togehter), or for families with children we went with The Doe Family.  The only invites we addressed formally were the one to my grandmother and the one to the officiant.

However, if you think your wedding may be too formal to get away with this, then err on the side of formality.

Post # 13
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

For your FI’s parents I’d just ask them what is proper 🙂 I am sure they’d appreciate it, and it isn’t like you never speak to them I’m sure. That is what I ended up doing with my unique addressing situation (which believe you-me was super weird heh). 

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