Post # 1
Thinking ahead to my invitations, I suppose I should address them in a formal manner, or does it matter anymore? It isn’t going to be a terribly formal wedding.
Assuming I go the formal route, I have a few situations that are stumping me.
1: Married couple, wife is a veterinarian and kept her maiden name: Is Dr. Jane Jones and Mr. John Smith correct?
2: Divorced couple still living together?? Would it be
Mrs. Jane Smith
Mr. John Smith – on separate lines? or what? Would I use Ms. Jane Smith instead?
3: My fiance’s parents are both pastors at their nondemoninational Christian church. Am I supposed to address them with special titles (Reverend??) or is Mr. & Mrs. John Smith appropriate? I’m not religious, myself, so I know nothing about this stuff.
Thanks in advance!
Post # 4
#1. I think you are correct. Mr. John Smith and Dr. Jane Doe
#2. Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jame Smith (all one line would be fine I think)
#3. I think it depends on the couple and you should ask your Fiance about this one. I think Rev. is probably more appropriate.
Post # 5
Thanks for the reply. Asking my fiance was the first thing I did. He’s clueless. Clueless about etiquette, clueless about what his parents would prefer… just generally clueless. Which is why I’m here asking for opinions. 🙂
Post # 6
Couple 1 – that is fine.
Couple 2 – if they’re divorced (obviously divorced, like it’s been a while) I would give them two separate invitations. This is the etiquette you do for any adult mothers living with adult children, so I would think it is a similar situation.
Couple 3 – I would just say Mr. and Mrs. If they are in a non-denominational church you never know if they are Reverend or Pastor or what. And they are probably used to being called Mr. & Mrs. anyway. If you are still unsure about it, I would forego the formality and just put John & Jane Smith.
Post # 7
You would definitely use Ms., not Mrs., in the second situation. She is no longer married through choice (as opposed to becoming single through something like widowhood), so she’s a Ms. now.
Post # 8
Ok, I figured Ms. would be more appropriate, thanks. 🙂
I guess separate invitations would be an option, though I honestly hadn’t considered it because I know they won’t be attending with anyone else. While they’re no longer romantically involved, to the best of my knowledge, neither has shown any interest in pursuing other relationships since their divorce. It’s a rather “different” situation. It’s my aunt and her ex-husband, if that makes any difference at all. I just always assumed I would invite them together.
Post # 9
You should check an old-school Emily Post kind of manual on this, but I believe a doctor outranks a husband, so she should go first, if you’re following old school etiquette. So Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. Bob Jones.
Post # 10
Traditionally you put the higher ranking first so in our complicated invites it read:
Major General Jane Doe and Colonel John Smith and family
Post # 11
@olive25: I believe that’s right from what I’ve seen, I just wanted to get others’ opinions to be sure.
Post # 12
If your wedding isn’t terribly formal, you could consider just addressing the invites less formally. That’s the route we took …we have lots of friends with female doctors, ect. Most invites were just addressed : Jane and John Doe (leaving out the Doctor thing all togehter), or for families with children we went with The Doe Family. The only invites we addressed formally were the one to my grandmother and the one to the officiant.
However, if you think your wedding may be too formal to get away with this, then err on the side of formality.
Post # 13
For your FI’s parents I’d just ask them what is proper 🙂 I am sure they’d appreciate it, and it isn’t like you never speak to them I’m sure. That is what I ended up doing with my unique addressing situation (which believe you-me was super weird heh).
Post # 14
This was really helpful to me and it addresses all of your situations (except the pastor parents, whom you should probably ask)
Post # 15
Thanks, all. My wedding won’t be very formal at all so I am considering just dropping the titles altogether and saving myself a lot of trouble, but my fiance needs some convincing on that one.