- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
How did you address your invitations for married couples? Dating couples? Families? Widows?
My invites came with a little booklet on etiquette.
Here are the rules it gave me –
Married Couples – Mr. and Mrs. John Doe (knew that one already)
Families – Mr. and Mrs. John Doe on the outside envelope and on the inside envelope Mr. and Mrs. Doe on one line with the childrens’ names on the second line.
Unmarried people at the same address – Mr. John Doe on one line and Ms. Jane Doe on the second line.
Also, it says the inner envelope should read Mr. and Mrs. Doe (no first names).
It didn’t mention widows but I looked it up and apparently the etiquette for that would be Mrs. John Doe.
Okay so I think it’s pretty weird to write Mrs. John Doe for widows when Mr. John Doe is deceased? Anyone else? It just seems weird to me that you basically put someone’s name on the envelope who is not living. I don’t really care as much about the couples one but this one seems weird.
It also seems strange to me that you wouldn’t write “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family” when addressing envelopes if their children are invited.
Finally, the inside envelope. What did you write? Because before we read this we were pretty much planning on writing how we knew each person (i.e. John and Jane Doe). Did you use last names? It’s very strange to me that you’re not supposed to even write first names on the inner envelope.
Also, my booklet says “in addressing clergy, military officers and medical doctors, always use their titles in full” (meaning to spell them out). Does that mean if my cousin is a PhD I can write “Dr” vs. “Doctor”?
And for unmarried women, did you use Ms. for all unmarried women 18 years and older or did you use an age cutoff below which you used Miss?
I know 90% of the time I’m going to be the only one that notices this stuff, but I want to make sure what I do is at least somewhat appropriate.
EDIT: Ok, I just checked the Knot and they seem to have more modern etiquette. Like they give the options of saying Mr. and Mrs. John Doe OR Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe.
I have also read that if you include both first names you’re supposed to list the woman’s first and not split up the man’s name. Ex. Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe. Has anyone heard that before? I’ve never seen that.