(Closed) Addressing Invitations for Married Couples- Alternatives to the Traditional?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I did that too.  I had to google the etiquette, because I wasn’t sure.  It’s fine to do that, but apparently, the man’s first and last name have to stay together.  So it would be Mrs. Kristen and Mr. John Smith.

Post # 4
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I actually did this…but I did “Mrs.Kristen and Mr.John Smith” so that his name is still together…but I wanted to include the wifes first name. I just think its strange to completely leave the woman out of the invitation….so that thats what i did!

Post # 5
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think I’m just going to do John and Kristen Smith. Casual wedding, casual people, who needs titles?

Post # 6
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kala_way: Me too. If someone complians, I didn’t want them there anyway! Besides, sometimes the name is too long with all the Mr/Mrs stuff!!

Post # 7
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I’m labelling everything John & Kristen Smith unless I don’t know the wife’s name (for two of my guests) who will be Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. I’m not into the traditional wording, but I don’t hate it either 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@AprilJo2011:

@Ms.Teddy:

WOW, totally didn’t know the man’s name had to be together! I learned something from this thread.

Post # 9
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

I also used the more casual “John & Kristen Smith” method for the same reasons listed. I didn’t like the idea of leaving out the women’s names but wasn’t crazy about the other formats either. Our wedding wasn’t super casual but not super formal either, so to me it worked.

Post # 10
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you’re doing an inner and outer envelope, the inner one can be way formal

even “Auntie Sue and Uncle Joey” with the outer one being Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Arneson.

 

Or go with the suggestions above.

Post # 11
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We went with “Mr. John and Mrs. Kristen Smith” if they shared the same last night or “Mr John Smith and Mrs. Kristen Adams” if they were different. We always used their first names as part of it. 

 

Post # 12
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We also used first names for both, because neither of us like the idea of leaving out the wife’s name for any reason.  But we arranged it based on who we knew best: if we were closer to the wife, it was “Kristin and John Smith” or “Kristin Doe and John Smith,” and if we knew the husband better, his name came first.  I don’t think anyone we invited would have been remotely offended by a breach of invitation etiquette, and I doubt various invited couple were comparing envelopes and wondering why the name order switched around.  

 

Post # 13
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

John and Kristen Smith are getting lots of invites.

Wink

Post # 14
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

ha! love it! too funny, Mrs.tobe! I’m thinking of doing the same…

Post # 15
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn

I’m pretty sure I made Miss Manners pass out with my invites. Honestly, we had no inner envelopes and I didn’t have space to put all of the household occupants on the outer envelope. So if John and Kristen had kids, they got “The Smith Family”. And if they didn’t, they got “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”. I think I hear the etiquette police coming for me now, gotta run. 😉

Post # 16
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@lox:  Hahaha, Don’t worry.  I always thought inner envelopes were completely ridiculous until it occured to us that we had no place in the invitation were we could tell the bridal party they can bring a guest.  So we just tell them.

FMIL read all the etiquette guides and wanted to do everything by the book. She frowned more than once upon my untraditional ways. I want everything more casual, I hate super traditional weddings.  Besides, why would you have to ‘request the honor of auntie Ethel’s presence’ like she’s the dutchess of Wolverington, just to watch her get drunk and do the chicken dance?  How does that go together? 

Edit: I did “The Smith Family” too!  There’s no way I write five names on the envelope!

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