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Hmmm... how much over 18 are we talking about? Are we talking about 18-20 years old... in that case I'd say just send it to the family. But if we are talking post-college age, then I'd say you need to do separate invites. Of course, this is not proper etiquette... etiquette does say send separate invitations... but I agree with the excess statement. Do you think your cousins will care if they get their own invitation or not? If I was 25 and living at home I might care... if I was 18 or 19, probably not. But, if you do separate invitations, do it for all over 18... if you don't then I'd say send SO a separate invitation.
I would probably do:
Mr and Mrs Jones
Jim Jones and Sally Smith
Jane Jones
1123 Fake street
Cityname, PA 12345
I had a similar situation and ended up sending two invites, one to my uncle and two younger cousins (both in college) and one to my older cousin (out of college) and his girlfriend (at my uncles address).
If it were a younger cousin with the long term girlfriend, I'd probably just have put them all on one.
ETA: just saw it was 4 cousins. If the cousin with the SO is the oldest, just send him his own, if its in the middle, I think I'd do:
Mr and Mrs Jones
John, Sarah, Ruth and Jim Jones
Sally Smith
OR
Mr and Mrs Jones
John, Sarah and Ruth Jones
Jim Jones and Sally Smith
It probably depends how old they are and what the living at home situation is like: college or younger, I'd stick them with the parents. If they're 30 and living in a garage apartment, maybe give them their own. Also, I feel like guys care less about invites than girls, so that might factor in.
I might even just put the "family" and then call them and tell them the SO is invited. To families, we mostly listed:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
James and Jamie Smith
And if there was a SO invited I might have added a third line with the child and their SO listed together:
Jim Smith and Samantha NotSmith
THANK YOU! I didn't really think of that and YES it most of the cases everyone is out of college. But it's mixed ages like 30-21 with all the different cousins.
I like the idea of:
Mr and Mrs Jones
John, Sarah and Ruth Jones
Jim Jones and Sally Smith
Although is it bad to list them without their Mr. or Ms. in front? Even though they are their children they're all 21+
I'd say send one to the parents and individual ones to the kids (+guests for BOTH kids).
OR if you don't care about etiquette you could address the outer envelop to the family and put three RSVPs in - one for the parents, one for the person w/out a date, and one for person with a date (of course this will cost more to send than your other ones).
@ camrie Unfortunately, we have to limit guests to engaged/living with and can't allow everyone who is single to bring a guest, wish we could give everyone a plus one, but can't afford to do so.
The only one family I was really concerned about was the one with the 4 kids and the 1 SO (just found out 1 of the children aren't living at home) so I *think* I'm gonna do is send a separate one out to the ones not living at home/guest and add the one who is still in college on with the parents. For everyone else that this kinda applies, I like the idea posted here.
Thanks for the all the feedback! Helped a ton!
I would go by the gift rule. If they're old/responsible/flush enough that you think they'll bring you a separate gift then I would give them a separate invite. If you think they'll slap their name on their parents' gift, I would put their name as a group. Hope that helps!
hahaha I have never heard that rule before but makes a lot of sense... I definitely think it'll be a family gift!
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OKAY so we're not doing inner and outer envelopes primarily because we're doing a pocket fold envelope and haven't found one that fits on the outside (and isn't too big) so we're gonna seal them with wax and they'll look gorg. Obviously doing the inner and outer would solve this problem cause I'd just right the names on the inner right?
Problem 1. Now I know etiquette says I'm supposed to send a separate invitation to anyone over 18 in the household but seems a little excessive to send 4 to ONE household (esp. when I have JUST enough invites!) To make things complicated, in one instance I have the parents and their 4 children all over 18 and all invites going to one household. ONE of them we're inviting their significant other. So how does this work? Do I send the invitation to "The So and So Family and Guest's Name"? Do I suck it up and send it to everyone individually and add the guest on the on invite? Do I send one to the family and one separate to the son with the SO (will the siblings be upset?)? What's the best solution?
Problem 2. Family of 4, their 2 children are over 18 and 1 of them is bringing their SO. But the invites are all going to the one household... so do I send it to "The So and So Family and Guest's Name" or separate ones out?
All of these are family (cousins).
THANKS for any feedback!