(Closed) Addressing invite for unmarried couple with kid, dad but not mom

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

if I remember right from the etiquette book I was given on this topic, the “correct” way to address the envelope would be

Mr. Brother Twalila

Miss Girlfriend

and Family




This is because, according to the etiquette books, unmarried couples are suppose to be on seperate lines with the main invitee first and you’re not suppose to put the name of people 18 and under on the outter invitation. (They also say this is the “correct” way to address the envelopes for gay couples- married or not!)

Now me, I threw that mostly out the window. When we sent our Save-The-Date Cards (and we’ll do our invites the same) I wrote mine (for living together couples and gay couples):

Mr. Brother Twalila & Miss Girlfriend

and Family



Since I live with my Fiance and I feel very strongly about acknowleding gay relationships, I would be offended if I got an invite that looked like the “correct” way to do it. But…I’m werid like that.

Post # 5
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would do:

Mr. Brother Name

Ms. Girlfriend Name

Miss. Daughter name



Mr. Brother Name and Ms. Girlfirend Name

Miss. Daughter Name



I know technically you aren’t supposed to put unmarried people on the same line, but I don’t care too much about that rule myself 😉  I would just use the daughter’s name since would only take about the same amount of space as “and family” and it’s more precise.

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know who invented that “rule” about unmarried couples going on different lines, but it certainly wasn’t Amy Vanderbilt back in the 1950’s, or Emily Post back in the 1920’s, or George Routledge back in the 1880’s. I’ve read their various books and articles. Traditional etiquette politely assumes that if two people are living together as husband and wife, that they must be secretly married (and that if they AREN’T, it isn’t any business of Traditional Etiquette to delve into the situation). So I treat couples who live together as husband and wife EXACTLY as I would treat any married couple who live together as husband and wife. Or husband and husband for that matter, or wife and wife.

The minor child could get his own invitation, or he could be included on a second line after his dad-and-partner. If you are being formal you don’t use first names, so it would be:

Mr Brother and Ms Girlfriend
      Master Brother

and you use “Ms”, “Miss”, “Mrs” or “Mm” or “Mme” for Ms Girlfriend depending ONLY on what title she prefers to use for herself.

Post # 7
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with the seperate lines.  I did that when I was inviting unmarried couples to the wedding.

Post # 8
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m a Post fan and I’m also wondering where this ‘unmarried people do 2 lines’ etiquette rule came from? I say

Mr. *** and M(iss, s., Mme.) ****

and Family / ***** (daughter’s name)


Ps. Good on you for trying to find etiquette rules. I care about it! Even if you’re non-traditional there are etiquette rules specifically for those situations!

Post # 9
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

are you doing an inner envelope? i’d totally cheat and just put your brother’s name on the outer envelope, and then address the inner envelope more casually “to brother, girlfriend, and cute lil guy”

Post # 10
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It should be addressed Mr. brother and Ms. brothers gf and family.

I’ll admit Fiance and I only know two couples who aren’t married and live together one with and one with out.

They will be adressed like this:

Mr. Timothy Barnwell and Ms. Jayna Daniels


If they have kids it would be:

Mr. Timothy Barnwell and Ms. Jayna Daniels and family


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