Post # 1
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
I have some questions 🙂 We are not using inner envelopes and we are doing onine RSVPs. Our social circle is failry informal and I can’t imagine anyone even noticing what is written on the envelope. I never have. That said….
It feels weird for me to write things like “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.” Is it okay to write “John and Jane Smith” for a married couple?
If I’m inviting a whole family, can I write “The Jones Family” on the envelope?
For a groomsman who’s girlfriend does not live with him, but who we know, should I address the envelope to both of them, but send to him? I don’t have her address and getting it would be impossible.
If I’m inviting an unmarried couple who live together, and the woman’s granddaughter who lives with them most of the time (three different last names) what would I write?
I think that’s all the questions I’ve run into so far.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
That’s what I did with my save the dates and might do the same for my invitations. I’m planning on making it clear on the RSVP card by listing the names for everyone. I alternated between doing “The Smith’s” and “The Smith Family” when addressing families because i couldn’t decide what i liked better. I just can’t see listing out like 5-6 names on an envelope when there’s multiple people living in a household. And I don’t really want to waste the time/money/paper/stamps on sending more than 1 invitation per house.
For the girlfriend, i’d just address it to Mr. Friend and Girlfriends Name and send it to his address.
For the unmarried couple I guess I’d do “Man XYZ & girlfriend & Daughter ABC”? Alternatively you could just list their first names?
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
A single mom and her son (same last name)
I was going to guess “Ms. Mary White and John White.”
Post # 4
MrsYellowDaffodil: Let me start by saying that I always notice the envelopes and addressing. It truly denotes who is addressed by the information and who is included in the invitation. That said:
-You can omit titles. It’s personal taste, but could be construed as ill-mannered to not address someone with their title. You could hang onto titles for your elders and drop it for your peers if you think this is socially acceptable in your circle. I would, personally, use “Mr. and Mrs. John M. Doe” for a married couple living alone or “Mr. and Mrs. John M. Doe and Family” for an entire household that was invited. If the couple has particularly progressive views (ex. my mother hates when her given name is omitted) use “Mr. & Mrs. John M. and Jane J. Doe.”
-Invitations for unmarried couples are mailed to the person to whom you have a personal attachment. “Mr. John Doe and Miss Jane Jones” to “John’s” address is fine.
-For the household with a blended family, “Mr. John Doe, Ms. Jane Jones, and Miss Sally” since there is no inner envelope to specify.
Post # 5
MrsYellowDaffodil: “Ms. Mary White and Mr. John White” if the son is over the age of majority. Traditionally, a young boy is referred to as “Master” so “Ms. Mary White and Master John”
The Vanderbilt ettiquette book states that the title of “Master” should only be used until the age of eight. No title should be used between age 8 and the age of 18. (Though age of majority was traditionally 21.) In early modern history, children over the age of seven were considered to become capable of comprehending their own actions and legally allowed to bear as witnesses. (Today, psychologists enforce that memory becomes more distinct around the age of seven or eight.)
Personally, I would use “Miss Mary White and John”
Post # 6
MrsYellowDaffodil: I am in the same boat with the no inner-envelopes part, so I struggled to figure out how to word things, too. Even though my date is stilll a ways off, I’m hand-addressing everything with caligraphy, so I’ve got a pretty good start at this point. The weirdest for me was anytime someone was invited with a plus one, because it felt really awkward to address an envelope with “Mr. John Doe and Guest”…but that’s what I did.
Other than that, I followed all the same rules as Alyx19: did above.