Addressing invites – HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 SimplyEuphoric:  You should only send 1 invitation per address

With the elimination of t6he inner envelope you need to tear the outer envelope as you would the inner:

1) The Family – you need to list everyone who is invited.

Mr. & Mrs Smith – Parents first

Jane, John, Joe smith – Kids second

123 Main St

Your city, State 12345

 2) Married couple with Adult child

Same as above or

Mr. Joe, John and Mrs Jane Smith

 3) Family w/ college students same as #1

 Really you could address all of them the same as you would #1 the main thing is everyone who is invited needs to be on the envelope if you are eliminating the inner envelope

Post # 4
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

FutureMrsHouy:  I disagree. Anyone over 18 is supposed to get their own invitation. If the college students are 18+, they should each receive their own invitation, regardless of where or with whom they live.

So the parents would be:

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

Street Address

City, State, Zip

Adult child would be:

Miss Jane Smith

Street Address

City, State, Zip

And etcetera.

Some of my addresses have as many as three different invitations going to them for this reason.

Post # 5
Member
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

1) Family:  The Smith Family for an informal invitation or you would do “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” on one line, immediately followed by “Masters Michael and Peter Smith,” then the address,

2): Adult children get their own invitations.   It, quite simply, is rude not to.  You should see if you can order enough invitations to appropriately invite your guests. 

3) Ask the person which is the best address to use.  They can decide if you should mail the invitation to their permanent address, or ask you to wait until they’ve moved into their apartment.

Post # 6
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

applecat:  +1. Anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to receive their own invitation. There is no “per household” rule. So adult children and college students should receive their own.

To send to a family that has children, I wouldn’t include “and family” because it can be ambiguous sometimes. What if grandmom lives with them? Etc.

It should look something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Doe

Master Michael and Miss Rachel Doe

123 Sesame Street

New York, New York, 12345

Post # 7
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

applecat:  crackktheskyy:  Just out of curiosity – this is supposed to hold true for cousins?

I have never heard this (then again I’m early in the process) – and was planning to address aunt/uncles/cousins on one invite for some of them. My cousins that are married and have a family – they get their own invite absolutely. But my cousin who lives god knows where who is in his early 20s – who presumably would lose the invite if I sent it directly to him, and his sister who lives with her parents – I can’t just put them all on one?

Post # 8
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Monk6552:  The rule is that all guests over the age of 18 receive their own invitation. It doesn’t matter if they are related or where they live. Anyone over the age of 18 is considered an adult and therefore receives an individual invitation. 

If you’re worried about your cousin, send him a message and ask him for his best mailing address.

Post # 9
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Monk6552:  You can still send his invitation to his parents’ house to ensure that he gets it, but it should be a separate invitation addressed to him (and his +1 if applicable) specifically.

Post # 10
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

applecat:  I only said the 1 invite to the address because she stated she did not have enought invites to send everyoen their own.  I’m aware anyone over the age of 18 get’s their own invitation.

Post # 12
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t know what all this “Master” stuff is about for kids- that’s pretty funny and guests where I live would get a good laugh out of that.

SimplyEuphoric:  I did this myself.  We weren’t sending mutliple invitations to the same household when we knew they weren’t even expected.

For adult kids, just address them to either:

Mom’sFirst & Dad’sFirst Dad’s Last

Kid’sFirst Kids’ last  (or Kid1’sFirst, Kid2’sFirst, and Kid3’sFirst Lastnameofall)

Or

Mrs. Mom’sFirst & Mr. Dad’sFirst Dad’s Last

Kid’sFirst Kids’ last  (or Kid1’sFirst, Kid2’sFirst, and Kid3’sFirst Lastnameofall)  [you could put Mr. or Ms. in front of the kids’ names too if you wanted to for the adults]

Post # 13
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

SimplyEuphoric: I’ve used FutureMrsHouy‘s addressing formula for one invite per housefold to address invitations for a friend.

While I agree it would be nice for everyone over the age of 18 to recieve their own invite, I’ve never actually gotten a separate invite while living with my Mother. In fact, I am currently 32 years old and living with my Mother before I get married next year to help save money for the wedding, and I was included on the same invite with her for a wedding we are attending this weekend. Truthfully, I didn’t even think about it being a breach in etiquette until just now! Of course, I live in a smallish city in the Midwest, so the degree in which people follow proper etiquette may be different where you are.

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