Post # 1
So, was talking to FI and he feels STRONGLY that the invites should be more personal and read: “John and Jane Smith” vs. “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith”
I see his point of being more personal – but the formal side of me thinks it should be Mr. and Mrs.
I decided to sleep on it, before making it a wedding detail I wanted to battle over….
So, hive – help me out – I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t ‘really’ matter – what would you do??
EDIT: There’s no inner envelope – so it’s just the outer (pocketfold invites)
Post # 3
I think you should choose accordign to the formality of your wedding. If it is a casual affair, then John and Jane Smith would be fine, but if you addressed them that way and you were throwing a more traditional/formal kind of wedding you would be giving the wrong impression with that wording.
Post # 4
eh, if he feels really strongly about it (and doesn’t feel really strongly about all elements of the wedding), i’d prolly concede. i think it is funny when they have such strong opinions about stuff like this.
Post # 5
So I’m starting to like the form where it’s:
Mr. and Mrs.
John and Jane Smith
123 Plum Street
City, State Zip
So the titles are on a different line. It allows it to have some formality while still being able to use both names.
Post # 6
@troubled: the problem with that form is that is isn’t grammatically correct to say Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith. You could say Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith.
Post # 7
@mcnetn3 (how did you tag me like that?)
That’s why I like it on different lines.
Because at least for me visually they match up under the right person.
I don’t usually read the outside of an invitation straight through like Ms. Troubled 123 street – the address isn’t a sentence.
Post # 8
I had this problem and ended up going with Mrs. Jane and Mr. john Doe If they shared a last name and Mrs Jane Doe and Mr. John Rogers if they didn’t. It was personal- all the people’s names were used!- but it also had an edge of formailty.
Post # 9
Compromise on it. And pick your battles carefully, at the end of the day you probably won’t remember how you addressed your envelopes.
However, personally I wouldn’t do it the 2nd way you posted (with the names under the title) as it’s really confusing until you read your reasoning behind it. I suspect your guests will just get confused.
For reference, I addressed our envelopes “Mrs Jane and Mr John Smith” or “Miss Jane Smith and Mr John Doe” dependant on the recipients. That’s only because I was always taught that the lady’s name came first.
Post # 10
@troubled: you can click on the (reply) at the bottom of a post and it will automatically show up in your comment box.
Post # 11
we left the titles off of our invites, but we’re having a not so formal wedding. is this something guests even notice that much though? i can’t see someone being like “oh, there’s no mr. or mrs. on this invite, this must be super cas.” or vice versa. just a thought.
Post # 12
Pick your battles. It really doesn’t matter in the end if you keep or skip the titles, and the formality of the wedding has nothing to do with it. Most folks read the envelope to see who it’s addressed to and who it’s from and immediately toss it, keeping whatever is inside.
Post # 13
@mcnetn3: Thanks!!! I’ve been wondering how to do that.
Post # 14
While I thought of “Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith” – I really don’t like the wordiness/length of it. And, I’m not crazy about the two lines with Mr. and Mrs. on the first line (although, it is a good alternative way to write it).
I agree – it’s a definite pick your battles type thing.
I guess the question is how much the addressing will really set the tone. I have to put ‘and guest’ on some of the single invites – so, perhaps my desire to be more formal is tossed out the window afterall!
Post # 15
I have a big problem with referring to any woman by her husband’s full name, so I addressed the invites as Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith unless it was an older lady who definitely wants to be called Mrs. I do think that the formality of the addressing sets the tone for the wedding — could you imagine getting an invitation to the White House from Barry O. instead of President Barack Obama?
Post # 16
@thrasymacha: I’m with you on the using Ms. unless you know they want to be called Mrs…if it’s only grammatically correct to use Mrs. Harry Smith, not Mrs. Jane Smith, then guess what? Ms. Jane Smith it is! I’ll use Mrs. Harry Smith for my grandma because I know she likes to be reminded of my late grandpa, but that’s it. And if people don’t like it, too bad! 🙂
And if I got an invite to the White House from Barry O., I would do a little dance of joy. Then I’d grab a six-pack, hop in the car, and meet him in the WH garden for some brewskis. LOL!