(Closed) Addressing Invites

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I have had the same problem. I addressed them to the couple or the person it was to.. but I didn’t want to put & family or & guest in the mailing address! I’ve had several people email asking who was invited 🙁

Post # 4
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Do you know the name of the guest or are you just allowing him to bring somebody? I think it’s horribly rude to put "and guest" if you can easily find out the name of a person’s SO. But if you are allowing them to bring a random date and you don’t have an inner envelope, I’d either let them know by word of mouth or just bite the bullet and write it on the outside.

Post # 5
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

KateMV is spot on – if you can, find out the name.  If not, address it to the person and follow up to let them know they are welcome to bring a date.

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

Is not ‘rude’ but is not nice either….If you’re ok with "and guest" go ahead…technically you shouldn’t but I would reather be precise than suffer to dozens of phone calls and awkward conversations about how many people I’m allowed to bring.

If you have RSVP cards…maybe you can be more specific there.

"we have gladly reserved 2 seats for you" and other ways.

Post # 7
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For sure find out the name if you can.  I was invited to a wedding with a FI and I had met the couple a few times and they still put me down as "and guest" on the invite…needless to say it bothered me some considering they know my name.

What are you guys doing about sending invites to familes with like 3 last names?  I have a cousin who got married and kept her maiden name, then there is her husband with his last name, and her sons, my cousins, (2 of which are in their 20s) have their dad’s last name.  How do I address that?

 

Post # 8
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Lillindy,

 the sons in their 20’s should get their own invites (anyone over 18 should).

The married couple with different names should be addressed as such:

Mr. Bradley Pitt and Mrs. Angelina Jolie

If there are children under 18 that you are inviting, on the next line, write each invited child’s first name only, from oldest to youngest.

UNLESS, you are doing an inner envelope.  Then you write only the parents names on the outer mailing envelope, but put the children’s first names on the second line of the inner envelope.  (too many rules if you ask me!)

One site that I thought was helpful was:

http://www.frugalbride.com/addressinvites.html

 

Post # 9
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I had a hard time with people who have been dating a while, but that don’t live together without an inner envelope…I thought it was odd to address an envelope to someone who didn’t live there.

So I addressed the envelope only to the guest I was inviting, and included a little handwritten note on the inside that said "It would be our pleasure if HISNAME escorted you to the wedding."  That way they knew their SO was invited.

You could do the same and just change the wording to accomodate a generic guest.

Post # 10
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So in my cousin’s case I messed up on the ages.  One son is 21, the other is 19, and the third son is 17.  So the first two should get their own invites and the youngest son shouldn’t even though they all live in the same house?

Post # 11
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

In that case, I would send the 17 year old his own invite too…If the situation were reversed (17, 15, and 13, say) I would include them all or with an inclusive (The LASTNAME Family), but I think I would feel bad if my older brothers got their own and I was still included with Mom and Dad at 17.

Post # 12
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Although – Miss Melissa – the woman’s name goes first.  So it would actually be:

Mrs. Angelina Jolie and Mr. Bradley Pitt
Miss Shiloh Jolie

(children on the second line.)  In the case of multiple children, you can simply say: The Misses/Messrs Jolie (or Pitt, as the case may be).

 

Post # 13
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I addressed dating couples’ invites to the girl, because I figured they would appreciate it more. So, Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Black to her address. And for the people we didn’t know their dates (like cousins I’m forced to invite by my parents), we just put "& Guest." And we did the kids like Suzanno said above, with multiples as "Jack, Joe & John White"

Post # 14
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Eskimobar, I think it’s totally appropriate to specifically spell out who’s invited on the mailing label if you are not including an inner envelope. 

Definitely try to find out the guest’s name instead of putting "and guest", unless you really don’t know who they are bringing. 

No matter how carefully and through you are, there are still going to be questions (like when you just put the invited guest’s name and they assume they are allowed to bring someone when only that one person is invited!). 

You can at least try to address it as best as you can when there are multiple people invited by listing each person on the mailing label.  Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I put "and Guest" on the outer envelope that got mailed.  And yes, that was when I truly did not know who they would bring. 

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