Addressing Save the Dates

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should we address the save the dates?
    His Name and Her Name (his address) : (4 votes)
    50 %
    His Name only (his address) : (3 votes)
    38 %
    Other-- please explain : (1 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    For our wedding invitations, I just put both names and sent it to whoever was our closer friend. No big deal at all! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    For a STD, leave her off. If they break up, you are still obligated to invite her if her name was on the STD. You can however, let him know by WOM that he can bring her (or whomever) as his date. When the invites go out for the wedding, you can put his name and guest. If they are living together or engaged by the wedding, include her name on the invite (instead of “guest.”)

    Post # 5
    Member
    1649 posts
    Bumble bee

    First of all, consider not sending Save The Date cards at all. They are not in the best of taste, having been borrowed from the “advance advertising” campaigns of the convention industry. They come across as slightly pre-emptory: as though youare trying to steal a march on all the other October 2014 hostesses who may be waiting for a more appropriate interval to send out their invitations, and as though you feel entitled to take control of your guests calendars and tell them what they should do with their time and vacation.

    Of course there will always be guests who need prior knowledge of your plans, because they have very busy schedules or need to pre-book travel or vacation time; and you could not imagine being married without them present. The most proper thing to do in those circumstances is write a personal hand-written note telling those special people, individually, about your plans. Or send a personal typed-in email, which is still more personal and individual than is a mass-printed ad.

    But assuming you have already succumbed to the allure of seeing your name paired in print with that of your intended with a cute picture in the background to mail out to all future guests, then send them ONLY to people who certainly WILL receive an invitation no-matter what happens; and get out of the habit of sending mail to people at some other person’s address. In other words, send it only to the gentleman who happens to be your friend. Later, when you send the invitations, assuming you choose to invite his girlfriend, you will send his invitation in his name to his address, and send her an invitation in her name to her address.

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