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I'd just do Mr. & Mrs. LastName and add the names of kids on the invite itself.
For close family we addressed it to the whole family name (i.e. immediate cousins) because although the kids won't be coming to the reception they will be welcome at the ceremony. For more distant relatives or friends of the family we just addressed them to the couple who would be invited to the reception. Plus our's doubled as Christmas cards so it was a little awkward sending Christmas cards to only two people in the household, but we did it anyway.
For families with kids that you ARE inviting, I would write "The Smith family" or "The Archembeault family" and Mr. and Mrs. Luxor for where you're just inviting the parents. With STDs I don't think it matters as much as the invitations.
Even if I take my fiance's last name, I have a HUGE issue with being "Mrs. HisFirst HisLast". I realize that this is the "correct" usage, but I still HATE it. When I addressed my STDs, they went to "HerFirst & HisFirst HisLast" or "HerFirst HerLast & HisFirst HisLast", no titles. I'll likely address my invitations the same way. When writing the actual card (we're sending ours with our holiday cards), I wrote it to everyone, but all of our friends know that our wedding will not be child friendly.
I addressed the Save the Dates using the first and last names, ex:
Bob and Sue Smith
123 Main Street
New York, New York 10001
We aren't inviting any children to our wedding with the exception of my 17 year old cousin so when we sent his parents a STD, this is how we addressed it:
Bob and Sue Smith
Christopher Smith
123 Main Street
New York, New York 10001
That way people knew exactly who was going to be invited to the wedding. If you're not inviting children, it's better to let everyone know in advance that is going to be the case.
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So I just got my STD's in the mail (way earlier than expected! yay!) We made it look like a postcard, so the back side has 3 lines to address them. How do I address them though? Do I just put Mr & Mrs Last name, we aren't inviting all children, and are deciding if the cut off should be 14 or 16. So, some families will have some kids allowed to go, and others won't. Should I just do Mr & Mrs last name, and on the invite do the names of everyone?
Thanks!