Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2014 - Squaw Valley
So I’m working on addressing my save the dates, and it dawned on me that I’m not sure how to address my mom’s. She does not live with her long term boyfriend, and if he weren’t her date he wouldn’t be invited. Can I list her first followed by him on the next line? Everything I’ve looked up has what to do for an “Unmarried Couple, Living Together”. I don’t really want to send him a seperate STD/invite, and I don’t want to put his name before hers on the one I send to her house. Any suggestions?
Post # 3
Hmmm. I would call my mom and just say that she has a +1! Are you close with her boyfriend/know him in any way? I’d be comfortable just telling my mom she can bring whatever date she wants 🙂
Post # 4
I think, technically, you’re supposed to send your mom’s to her house and her boyfriend’s to his house. If they’re the type that follow etiquette rules, that’s what I’d do. If they’re more laid back, you could just put her name and then his below hers and send it to her house.
Post # 5
My sister has been with her SO for 6 years, but they still live at home (they’re 22 and 21, so still babies). I’m planning on sending them one STD, addressed to both of them.
Post # 6
I agree with just telling mom that of course she gets a plus one. If you are close with her, I would have this in connection with a discussion that not everyone will get a plus one (if that is the case), if people call her, she should indicate she can not add invites. You might also discusss with her if you are not inviting children, etc. and she is not to allow any.
Post # 7
in my instances like this (long term couple, living seperately), I just sent the STD to the person in the couple I was close with/actually inviting (so in this case, your mom) with the SO listed on the next line. So it’d be:
123 main st
If it was a couple where both people would be invited even if they weren’t together, then they got their own individual STD.
we’re doing the same for invitations. I guess I never gave though to if that’s appropriate or not, but invitations and stds aren’t cheap! If the BF is a newer one and May not be around come wedding day, then I’d do mom and guest.
Post # 8
I sent one to each household.
For couples that were living together [like my brother & his girlfriend], I used “the xxx family”. They have a child together.. and technically speaking.. his girlfriend is only invited because he is.
For those where there were multiple families with different last names living under 1 roof, I listeed all of their names…
So it was like..
Aaron & Lee xxx
followed by their address.
Now of course, I know they’ll each need their own invite for the wedding, but I thought sending 3+ std magnets to 1 household was a little overboard!
Post # 9
@StL.Ashley: I’m doing the same thing – and I’ve received invitations for my now live-in fiance at my address before we lived together.
Post # 10
“Save the dates” instruct guests to make arrangements to take time off and travel. Etiquette has no strong rules about how to address pre-printed mass-mail type Save-The-Date cards, because etiquette recognizes them for what they are — advance advertising format borrowed from the convention industry, and a cold impersonal way of sharing personal news — and suggests not using them: first, because it is pre-emptory and entitled to order people to SAVE THE DATE! and rearrange their vacation plans around you months in advance; and second because a proper polite alternative already exists.
The polite alternative is to send individual hand-written notes to everyone whose presence is essential to your enjoyment of your wedding day. Out of respect for the twenty-first century, etiquette would also entertain the notion of sending them an individual email or phoning them, or even using Skype. Surely your mother, of all people, would be a little non-plussed to get such personal news in a bulk-printed flyer?
However, if you are so excited to see your name in print alongside your finance’s, that you have your heart set on sending out the cards, just send them to the people whose presence you will absolutely and undoubtably desire. A save-the-date is just a prior notice, not an invitation. Just send it to your mother. When you get around to the invitations themselves you can take yourself in hand and force yourself to send one to your mother’s gentleman-friend: in his own name, and to his own address.