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Addressing thank you card when only half of couple came

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Should I
    Address both to thank for gift and just leave the "thanks for coming" part out : (4 votes)
    24 %
    Address just my cousin and thank her for gift & coming : (0 votes)
    Address both and thank for gift, then specifically thank cousin for coming on a separate line : (1 votes)
    6 %
    Address both, thank for gift, thank cuz for coming and add sorry cuz-hub wasn't able to make it : (12 votes)
    71 %
  •  
    1.
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    1,116 posts
    Bumble bee
    twalila    May 2010   Ohio

    My cousin & her hubby were both invited to our wedding.  Their kids were not.  My cousin still came however he hubby was pissed about our decision and opted to stay home (fine with me).  Do I send a thank you card to just my cousin or to them both?  So far I've been thanking people for their gift (in this case a check which technically did come from their joint marital account) and also for attending our wedding which only one of them did.  To clarify, I'm questioning the inside note, Dear X & Y, not simply whose name to put on the envelope.

    FYI - these are our cards:)

    Addressing thank you card when only half of couple came :  wedding Dancefloorunedited 2 1 1

     
    2.
    Member
    3,763 posts
    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    I would just thank them both for the gift and not even mention anything else. If you do any "thanking" for the wedding there is a chance that it will be seen as you being sarcastic so I would just leave it out.

     
    3.
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    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    Mrs. Alias    October 24, 2009  

    i would thank them both for the gift and say that you were so happy Cousin X could make it. I agree with Jamaica that it might sound sarcastic, but at the end of the day you do want to thank her for coming.. maybe you could say, "We were so happy to see X on our wedding day"

     
    4.
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    FutureMrsSpinewiz    October 2, 2010   NY

    I would  thank X for coming, but thank them both for the gift. You could write something like "We're sorry Y was unable to make it; he was missed," if you want to. I don't think it's sarcastic-sounding.

    So...

    "Dear X & Y,

    Thank you so much for the mitten-warmer. It will surely come in handy this winter when the temperature drops to -40!

    It was so nice to have X join us at our celebration, but we were sad to Y was unable to make it. Perhaps we can get together in the near future to make up for it.

    Thanks again for thinking of us on our special day!

    Love,
    Husband & Wife"

     
    5.
    Member
    8,906 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    I'd address both as the gift came from both of them.  Then I'd say something like, "Sorry Cuz-hub couldn't join us but we really enjoyed spending time with Cuz at the wedding".

     
    6.
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    Miss Starry Night    October 22, 2010   Minneapolis MN/Cabo San Lucas

    Okay, I voted for option 1, but probably should have voted for option 4. 

    Since they're a couple, you thank BOTH of them. Thank your cousin for attending, and express regret that her husband wasn't able to make it, and leave it at that. 

    As someone with a child, it IS hard to line up childcare for a whole day event like a wedding, so try not to hold it against him too much :) They may just not have been able to afford all day child care and maybe that's why he was upset. 

     
    7.
    Member
    5,166 posts
    Bee Keeper
    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    I would also thank X for coming, and say you were sorry to have missed Y and you were thinking of him. Then thank them both for the gift.

     
    8.
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    259 posts
    Helper bee
    nonimouse12    July 24, 2010  

    Totally irrelevant, but my BIL got married in that same barn!

     

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