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Wow - I think your thinking too hard about this! Hehe! I do it too - anyways - my vote would be to address them as "The Smith's" and leave it at that! Good luck!
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I have a few scenarios that I need help with:
1. How do you address the envelope for a married couple when your friend is the bride? Everywhere I've looked have always said that you address it as:
Mr. and Mrs. John and Mary Smith -- but I'm friends with "Mary". Is it OK to have Mary's name first? If so, would you say: Mrs. Mary and Mr. John Smith?
2. Is it tacky to address the envelope: Mary and John Smith? Note* they are a young couple.
3. How do you address a young family, where you know the bride and they have a small child? Would you say: Mary, John and Jimmy Smith? Mr. and Mrs. Smith & Family?
Thanks!