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We still adjust. I feel like we go through cycles where we don't sleep well for a week and then we get in a groove and sleep good for a couple weeks.
It takes time!! I got frustrated because when I was hot I would roll away, but that would wake him up and he would "follow me". I had to tell him, I appreciate him wanting to cuddle/be close, but I am moving because I'm hot.
O totally. We are not married yet but we've lived together since November. I'm still adjusting & I still can't sleep. I am a light sleeper so any movement or noise his body makes usually wakes me up. Unfortunatly I don't have much advice. A lot of weeks I sleep in the guest room 2-3 nights.... :S It sucks but I need my sleep or i'm grumpy alllllll day.....
I'd say going queen will help. If you can, splurging on a nice mattress is key in my opinion. Before I moved in, my boyfriend got a really nice mattress. It's really nice not feeling the person next to you moving. As for him crowding your space, I think what I ended up doing is nudging him over whenever he started creeping over to my side (now I nudge him to stop snoring). Eventually he got better about it.
It took us a while. We originally had a queen but had to get a king because he takes up so much room! we sleep much better now :) And because we wouldnt be able to get a king up the stairs we got 2 twins with a topper and it was SOOOO much cheaper!
I've been living with my fiance for over a year, and we are both able to sleep well at night. My first tip is get a good mattress. Before we moved in together we knew that we were not sleeping well we stayed over at the other person's house, so we actually tested the mattresses out in the store by him (or me) turning over and asking if the other person felt it. When we didn't, we knew we had our mattress. Plus, we upgraded to a queen mattress, so we have enough space to sleep without bumping into each other. Next, we've both acknowledged that we sleep best when we aren't cuddling up to one another. We cuddle before we sleep, then break apart to sleep, and cuddle again once the alarm clock goes off. It works really well. Sleep is just way too important!
We've been experiencing this too! Before we were married, sleeping in the same bed felt like a romantic treat since we didn't live together. Now, after the initial cuddling, I find myself getting as close to the edge as possible so I feel like I am alone in the bed! I can't wait until we can upgrade to a California King like in our honeymoon suite - that was amazing!!
My FI and I have been living together for years, and I am a really light sleeper, and I have really bad asthma so I need to sleep in a cold room so I can breathe easier, and not wheez. As weird as this may seem we sleep with seperate blankets, he sleeps with a down comfotrer (he gets cold becuse of the ac) and I sleep with just a summer quilt, we both sleep fine and it makes it so we can still sleep in the same bed but still manage to be comfortable and get a good night sleep. We also have a really good mattress, so we don't really notice if the other is moving while sleeping.
We're still adjusting. I'd love to have a king but it won't fit in our narrow bedroom! So a queen it is. A memory foam mattress really helped deflect some of the minor adjustments we make in the night, like rolling around.
After 10 YEARS of living together, we're STILL adjusting. For us, it's not a movement or temperature issue; it's a different kind of matress needs issue. Mr. needs/prefers a FIRM mattress & I need/prefer one that adjusts to my curves. About 4 years ago, we got a memory foam top mattress that now hurts his back after a while. So we're looking into other options...a bed that has different levels of firmness (SUPER expensive), a sleep number bed (really BAD reviews), even pushing two twins (of differing firmness) together. Not sure what we're going to do yet...any tips out there?
We're not married yet, but we live together. We sleep in seperate rooms during the week and try to sleep together on the weekends. I most always end up getting up in the middle of the night and going to sleep in my bed! It's just impossible. I think once we buy a house we are going to invest in a King bed, hopefully that will help.
We had a really hard time adjusting to sleeping together, we've been working at it for about 2 years. We are much better at it now, but some nights if one of us has a bad night someone ends up on the couch. We sleep in a full bed, but we sleep best in a King. I can't wait until we move into a house instead of sleeping at my condo so we can have a huge bed. We also cuddle before sleeping and in the morning then sleep separately. It's better for everyone involved.
We have a California King bed, and I swear sometimes even THAT feels like we're sleeping on my old full size bed. My husband has the bad habit of rolling over to get as close to me as possible, even though there's like 4 feet on the other side of him! Luckily, it's summer now and ridiculously warm in our house all the time...that usually keeps him on his side of the bed! :)
Oh goodness, how I drool after pictures of Cal King beds! We have a queen and I just can't justify the expense of upgrading since it's in perfectly good condition. But ooh, that extra foot of space would be sooo nice!!
Like many of you, my husband cuddles up to me several times throughout the night which keeps me awake since I get hot and I need space to fall asleep again, I'm an extremely light sleeper. And we don't have a memory foam mattress, so when he moves the slightest bit it shakes the whole bed, waking me up. He has a bad habit of squirming all morning on the weekend instead of getting up and letting me sleep. He'll toss and turn and squirm and worm until I finally give up trying to fall back asleep and get up with him.
I can't believe you guys tried to sleep in a full sized bed. We have a queen, and I curse the fact that we don't have a king almost every day! We have really demarcated space in bed. We each have a side, and when we are sleeping, we don't cross the sides. At first, it took me nudging him and rolling him over to his own side, but now he does it haturally. He wraps the covers around himself like a burrito, too, leaving me none, so we each have our own comforters. We also switched from an innersprung mattress to a momory foam one to reduce the amount of movement waking each of us up at night. It is an amazing mattress - highly recommended!
I would second separate blankets like @jedcaj mentioned. I love being under a warm comforter in a cool room, and he gets way too hot. So I still use the twin-sized comforter I used in college, while he uses a blanket. Even when it's warm, we will each use separate blankets. It's nice not having to fight over the covers, especially because he likes to wrap himself up like a mummy when he sleeps. Strange, I know.
we've been married for almost two months and we're finally past the adjustment of sleeping together. we use to smack each other with our arms and hit one anothers legs. although we're not cuddlers like many of you.
on our honeymoon we slept in a King for a few weeks and that just seemed lonely as we were always so far away from one another. Queen suited us better and is what we have at home. so far so good, just gotta keep it up now!
My BF have been living together for about 1.5 years. In the beginning it was hard for me because I need complete silence and he snores sometimes. LOL
But as time has gone by I dont even hear it now.
Funnily enough we seem to sleep really well together. Sure, sometimes I'm warm and he isn't and he creeps into the middle of the bed and I get all of >< that much space to sleep but what I do now is just push him over. We also have a standing fan in the room so when it does get stupidly hot it gives us both some relief.
We sleep pretty well together. The only pet peeve is that he is a really heavy sleeper, and I am a fairly light sleeper. So when the cat is acting up at 3 or 4 am, I am the one who gets up to kick him out of the bedroom.
Just wanted to chime in -- It's very unconventional but my husband and I sleep in separate bedrooms. We honestly love it, and our marriage (and sex life) are great. We sleep better, don't wake eachother up when we keep different hours, and generally just like it much better! I know it's not for most, but just wanted to put that option out there.
@zeynokiz: I completely agree about getting a new mattress. We got a brand new queen size mattress when we got married, and let me tell you, that thing is so soft and comfortable that you almost fall asleep just looking at it!
We invested in nice down pillows, a new down comforter and a pillowtop mattress, and it makes all the difference in the world. Before that, I was sleeping on an old, hard mattress and had trouble sleeping almost every night (and that was on my own). I was scared that when I started sharing a bed with him, I'd never sleep, but now I realize that I was just never comfortable when I was sleeping on that old mattress.
How sweet that he cuddles you in the middle of the night!
My husband and I were married in March and lived together since the previous January. We stayed over each other's places many times previously, and our full-sized beds put us far too close to get any kind of good sleep. When we moved in together we bought a king-sized bed. Most nights, I have to peek over to see if he's even there! We hardly even bump in the night.
Awesome. We sleep like babies most nights.
YES! We've lived together for 2 years and we still have problems with this. It's almost like a special treat when one of us gets the whole bed to ourselves.
Its been nearly three months, and my husband and I are finally getting a solid night's sleep. I move around like crazy in my sleep (restless legs syndrome), and he just takes up a lot of space. We spent our honeymoon adjusting to a king sized bed, which was wonderful, and then came home to our queen...definitely took several nights of me relocating to the couch before I adjusted. Now he sleeps so soundly that my movements don't bother him, and I just take up as much space as I need to before he gives me a shove.
I think fans really help. Our biggest problem was always being too hot with another person in bed and having a ceiling fan is phenominal. we have it on every night (even in winter) and it makes us so happy :)
re: him chasing you.... be honest with him! He might not be able to help it if he naturally does that in his sleep, but if you keep making him move back he'll eventually get used to it and stop doing it.
We didn't really have that problem bc neither of us are cuddlers at all. we cuddle, then roll away. and we like it that way lol. but i think you can kind of train the way you sleep :)
You will adjust. I just push him over if I need too. I also have two chihuahuas that sleep right on my legs. You will get used to it!
I have to say yes.. you will get used to it.. But now that we have a king size, I'm not sure I could go back! It's difficult at first but I shared a queen sized bed w/ a 6'3" guy for 2 years.. wasn't easy at first but over time, it just felt natural.
If you are really having long term problems and don't feel you'll adjust to it soon, is there some kind of return policy on your queen that you could upgrade to a king??Or, you could always try to sell it to upgrade to a king, since it's almost new, you could prob get a good amount of your $ back if not all of it.
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DH and I have been married a month now (yay!!) but still adjusting to sleeping well in the same bed. We had slept together before we got married but not every night up until a couple months ago. Lately it feels like we each only get a few nights of good quality sleep a week. We just upgraded from full to queen bed. He always ends up on my side of the bed cuddling leaving me with no room and hot and sweaty.
Anyone else had to adjust to this side of coupledom?