Weddingbee boards

Hi there! Good luck in your search! I too am adopted, at 10 days old as well! I love my family very much, and don't feel much is missing, however I would love to see what my birthmom and father look like and hear their stories, get family medical history, etc...I do know where my birthmom is. It was a closed adoption, but since I'm a journalist, I was able to do extensive public records research to discover their names, and then found my birthmom's address. She knows I am looking for her--I got chosen to be on The Locator TV show--but she declined to write to me or meet me or have anything to do with me. I feel like it isn't fair because her husband friended me on facebook (I suspect so SHE could look thru all my pictures) at first I was excited, but then I defriended him because I was mad that she knew what I looked like, yet I haven't heard a word from her or seen a picture, OR at the very least givin the medical history I feel I'm owed. Therefore, I'm washing my hands of her and certainly not inviting her to the wedding. It's sad because something like 85-90 percent of birthmoms welcome at least SOME contact. I guess my birthmom falls in that 5 percent that doesn't.

A recent bee was adopted as well, but I can't remember which one.

Well, my parents had the name of my foster mother, who was the link my bio parents. She looked after me for the 10 days prior to being adopted by my family, and she sent cards at Christmas nearly my whole life. She's the only person who has seen both my natural parents, and felt OK in giving me the names because my bio parents had both expressed their wishes to meet me. It even says that in the caseworker interview in my adoption papers--both of them said that if I so desired, they would welcome contact and a relationship once I reached 18. HOWEVER, they must have gone on with their lives and decided to go back on that promise, because both their addresses had been pulled from the files when I finally did decide to try and find them at age 22. I think it's weird that she and I only live 30 min. away, and REALLY weird that she spoke on the phone with the Locator TV show host Troy Dunn, AND had her husband friend me on Facebook, BUT hasn't had the decency to respond to my letter. I think I am waaaay better off with the family I have now.

Kjpugs, is there any way you can contact your foster parents who looked after you during the 10 days before you were adopted? Keep in mind very few adoptees have had the bad experience I have had. Here's hoping you find her and it's a joyful reunion!

I wanted to mention, If your parents have your foster parents' names, you can do public records research on them, I had to do that to find Dixie's new address, as she had fallen out of touch with my family in recent years. It took some tracking (about two months of research) but since her name was uncommon, I think that helped. Maybe even go to the hospital where you were born and try and see what records of your birth you can uncover. You can for sure find the doctor and who knows, they might give you some hints!

This book is good: http://www.amazon.com/Public-Record-Research-Tips-Book/dp/1889150509/ref=pd_cp_b_2

@LizAnne - I'm sorry your biological mom hasn't been more responsive. You seem to be very happy with and well supported by your adoptive family, which is the important thing. Maybe one day your bio mom will come around.

@kjpugs - I understand your curiosity. I was adopted as a baby, and when I was around 30 I met my biological mom for the first time (I've never met my dad). It's a long story, but the gist is that she is present in my life today, though not an active part of it. I only email with her once or twice a year and see her even less. We have an amicable relationship, but we are not close. It seems that after my/our initial curiosity was satiated, we moved on pretty quickly and neither of us experienced any major shifts in our lives.

However, she did make a huge gesture recently by traveling from St. Louis to South Africa to attend my wedding. I only had 2 other family members who were able to make the trip, so I was very humbled that she was one of those who made the journey. She has thankfully been welcomed into my family, so she sat alongside my mom and my uncle and they all made it so easy on me.

Good luck to you. I know it's one of those lingering questions that can follow you around for a long time. I just wanted to let you know that my experience (as well as that of a few of my closest friends who are also adopted) has been very positive -- if not life-changing -- so it can work out well for you when the opportunity presents itself. I hope it does.