Post # 1
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
Okay, so this is a topic that DH and I feel very strongly for. Whether we can have kids or not, we plan to adopt children. How many, we don’t know. But it us been our plan since before we even got engaged. There are a lot of children and babies out there that needed families. And we want to provide that to some of them. If we can’t have kids we’ll probably adopt infants. But if we can have kids we’ll probably not have a preference of age.
Just curious about you other bees. If you can’t have kids will you adopt? What if you can have children?
Post # 2
I’ve always wanted to adpot, my FI does not. If we have issues conceiving when the time comes we will go down every path that would allow us to have a biological child. But we have agreed that if we are absolutely not able to have kids ourselves, that we would adopt. 🙂 Either way I’ll be happy!
Post # 3
Maybe? We’re not sure we can have biological children, but we would like to become parents.
Post # 4
MrsWoods47: Even if we can have our own children, we feel pretty strongly about adopting kids. For me it’s not just an option in case we cannot have kids, but one even if we can. Actually, I debate whether it will be best to do adopt before having our own children or after. I see adoption as an act to help other kids, not to help my situation.
Post # 5
Yep. We want to adopt, one who will probably be older if we can have a biological child (so far not as easy for us as some people) and two if not. If we can’t have a biological then we will look into infant adoption first then one from the foster care system. Selfishly I want to be able to have a bitty baby to dress up and decorate for and all that jazz.
Post # 6
Yep. My husband and I are researching adoption right now and working on our fertility problems at the same time.
Post # 7
It took DH and I two years of trying to conceive, so I did look into adoption. My brother was adopted, (and my parents did foster care for years), as was one of my good friends. However, our state’s adoption laws pretty much suck, so I don’t think I would be able to put myself through that.
Post # 8
No. This is a topic that we have done a lot of research into, and have been very close to doing. But ultimately we decided not to.
1) It is very expensive
2) It is very invaisive. The home study is a very personal, dig into everything that you have ever had in your life and then picks them apart. Oh you don’t have a great relationship with your own family? Strike against you. You once smoked pot at a party in highschool? Strike against you.
3) It is very lengthy, and very emotionally taxing. There is also no guarantee. No matter how close you are, no matter what you have done to that point. If its in the window, the mother can change her mind. Some places have a long window for that to happen.
4) IT is very, very, expensive.
5) There aren’t as many babies out there as everyone thinks. If you want an older child or one with special needs, the wait will be much less. But if you want an infant it is difficult to find one.
I’m glad that many kids do find homes, however after everything else, it’s not the path for us.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
candy11: I love this response. And I agree completely!
Post # 10
MrsWoods47: Thanks! I agree there are many kids (small or old) out there in need of a home, and what better place than the one we can provide 🙂
Post # 11
I have 2 biological children. I hope to do foster care when they are grown. I want to make sure I get my kids raised to be decent people before I do any damage to anyone else’s (kidding!). And then I would like to have older children, maybe a sibling set that is harder to place.
Post # 12
he was adopted, so it’s something close to his heart. we’ve discussed domestic adoption (not international, we’d only do domestic) as an option, but we’d like at least one biological child before we adopt.
Post # 13
I really want to adopt; FI isn’t as into the idea, so we’ll see!
Post # 14
andielovesj: I would just like to say to all of yous points, a lot of reproductive procedures can be just as invasive, time and monetarily taxing as adoption. I am not saying adoption is for everyone, just that the other options for having children can be equally taxing. I think IVF sounds scarier and more invasive to me as it involves a medical procedure, but that is my hang up, and not everyone’s.
If DH and I can’t naturally, we will look into adoption. We are still a long way off from that option, so right now it is just a thought.
Post # 15
I’ve always felt really strongly about adoption. I was adopted and I’ve always known that I would want to adopt as well!
FI and I are actually starting to look into it now 🙂