- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Darling Husband and I have discussed starting to TTC.
We both really want kids and a family.
I have some health issues, so while I can have a pregnancy, it does make me nervous too. The doc says it will be fine as long as we are careful and do certain things/avoid others. Of course, the idea of even being pregnant just sounds awful to me. I’m not one of those people who look at pregnant women and WANT that. I feel like pregnancy is just the sucky thing you have to go through to start your family. Don’t get me wrong, pregnant women are AMAZING to me. (Like “magical pregnancy unicorns”….bahaha) It’s just…..well it doesn’t look easy by any means!
Anyways. DH knows I feel this way and says it’s totally up to me, IE “It’s your body. You decide and I will support you know matter what. I just want you to be healthy and happy with your choice.” He has brought up that we could always adopt. Then he says it again, and again….and again….he likes the idea….which brings me to the next thing.
The other thing is that we both come from families that divorced or seperated immedietely after we were born (basically where both of our moms got pregnant, then got married or tried the family thing, and it didn’t work out). So the idea of reproducing is just not that important to us since we were raised as “whoops!” babies, but having a family is. And just having the baby does not always make a family.
Which I want to be clear that for many people it seems that the birth of their child is a lifechanging and miraculous experience, and it brought them all together as a family, but for the two of us, that is not what happened and we were very much reminded of that growing up. And while we think if we gave birth to a child, we would have that awesome lifechanging experience, the birth part is not crucial to the family experience in our minds. And I keep thinking that if we are the type of people that choose to build our family now, why wouldn’t we adopt? We don’t care if we pass on our genes, our family members that we care about would support the choice (some others that we are estranged from would not…go figure), and we want to be parents more than anything, so why go through the pregnancy?
I’m really open to hearing the perspectives here, and how you decided what was right for you. It’s something I’m tossing around and thinking about, so I would love to hear the good and the bad, and your impressions of the above. And questions are welcome too. 🙂