(Closed) Adoption anyone? Or pregnancy / “regular” family creation?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t have kids and am not 100% sure I will, but you might want to check out Mrs Jacks on Hellobee (our very own MrsDG) who had a bio baby and then just adopted a new girl recently.

Post # 4
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

If being pregnant and/or having a biological child are not important to you, I think it’s a wonderful idea!  There are lots of babies and children out there needing homes, I think it’s awesome that you’re willing to open your home and hearts to one (or more)!

Post # 5
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

So, not exactly in your situation, but Darling Husband and I talked extensively about adoption b/c it was taking us so long to get pregnant. After 2 miscarriages, I’m finally pregnant, but I don’t love being pregnant at all. I love what the end result is going to give me, but it’s definitely been a pretty big struggle accepting what’s happening to me.

We discussed adoption b/c it took us about 18 months to get pregnant with our baby. We hadn’t gone through any reproductive specialists yet, but I knew that if that didn’t work, that we still wanted to have a child to raise together. The fact that I finally got pregnant made our decision for us.

Post # 6
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MrsDulce:  My husband and I are in a very similar place. I love kids and babies (I work with them!), but I never had any desire to be pregnant. I have asthma, allergies, and a more serious condition that will make pregnancy a hellous and uncomfortable experience. We’ve been talking a lot about the option of adopting. Sometimes we waffle back and forth, because I’d love to see a little boy walking around with my husband’s mannerisms or a mix of both of us. However, I had a cousin who was adopted and she’s so similar to her adopted father, that I often forget she was even adopted. She’s so much a part of our family, that it isn’t any different that she’s not genetically related.

Adoption is such a beautiful and amazing thing to do! There are so many children that are in need of a loving home and family. I can imagine that the bonding as a family would be different than the traditional pregnancy route, but special in its own way.

Also, if you choose to adopt your first child, it isn’t like you couldn’t have a biological child at a later date if you felt the urge to expand your family.

Post # 7
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Two things.

1. Most adoptive parents I’ve talked to say they wish they had started the adoption process earlier in life and not waited so long. You can always start the process and stop if either of you have reservations at some point.

2. Pregnancy is no walk in the park. I’ve had a very easy pregnancy compared to a lot of my friends, and I think pregnancy is pretty sucky. I am totally stoked to have a baby to hold at the end of this, and I think it’s amazing how women’s bodies were designed to grow an other human being inside. But I do not love being pregnant. Shoot, I don’t even like being pregnant. It’s uncomfortable and my body is doing things no one ever told me it would do.

3. There are lots of kids in the world that need good parents. Here’s a news article from late 2011 about orphans world-wide. There are several different types of adoption, so I would just say do some research and see if it’s something you and your husband are willing to commit to.


Post # 8
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I work with someone who has adopted 3 girls from china as babies. He loves them and they are very much his children and they adore him and do truly see him as their dad (regardless of ethnic differences). I really do believe that adopting is a beautiful thing and there is a lot more to being a parent then just being pregnant and giving birth. I would have no issue adopting (but my Fiance is not keen) so it rules it out, It has got to be something your both happy to do, which doesn’t seem to be a problem in your case.

I do know, however, that the adoption process can be incredibly difficult. My work colleague struggled a lot to adopt his last daughter (even though she was special needs and he had adopted before) and I believe it took nearly 3 years to finalise. If you are considering adoption, you should go and talk to the correct authorities (whoever they may be) just so you can at least start the ball rolling. That way you can be going through the system but you still have the option to change your mind if you are unhappy about something. 

Post # 10
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Fiance and I lived together when I got pregnant. I was on bc pills and they failed. She wasn’t expected but I loved being pregnant. I had a difficult pregnancy with too many complications. My body isn’t the same b/c of stretch marks and such but I definitely miss feeling her move and the baby hiccups. 

Post # 11
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am always supportive of those who want to adopt. I think it’s wonderful. 

As far as international vs. US adoption, that’s really personal. Either way, just make sure that whichever agency you use is iron-clad reputable. 

Post # 12
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think adopting is one of the most amazing, selfless thing you can do 🙂  


I have two children and pregnancy was hands down the worst months of my life. I would love to adopt our third, just gotta get my SO on board lol

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