(Closed) Adult Reception – Invitation

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: "Adult Reception to follow" on the invitation
    Yes : (14 votes)
    54 %
    No : (12 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4529 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Gmedina17:  If you have already specified “Adult Only” for the wedding, it *should* go without saying that the reception would be in the same form.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4442 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Gmedina17:  I wouldn’t personally, if you just make it out to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith instead of The John Smith Family you should be fine.

     

    If someone RSVPs with their whole family you can address it with them individually at that time  but they should get the hint when they don’t see kids meals as an option on the RSVP card 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1967 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Don’t think you need to add it just make sure you write specific names on the invitation. Mr. & Mrs. XYZ not The XYZ’s/ The XYZ family. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    9147 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Do I think it might offend some guests? Yes.

    But I also think it clearly says that children are not invited to the wedding.  So many people don’t know good etiquette in regards to the names on the envelope so I think adding the line makes it crystal clear that children are not invited.

    Post # 7
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee

    I think that if you address the invite as Mr and Mrs ABC it is given that children are not included.

    Post # 8
    Member
    859 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I’d make it blunt and simple and just say it’s an adult only wedding on the invites.  Less people are going to ask if the kids are invited that way than if you just address it to only adults.  Plus some people (I’m not saying it’s right but it does happen) don’t think to read who it’s addressed to and just assume the kids are invited.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1681 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Gmedina17:  Some guests (and bees) are very ettiquette sensitive. Perhaps you could word it something like.. “Following the ceremony, our adult guests are invited to….”

    If your family is anything like mine, you have to make sure “NO CHILDREN ALLOWED” is blantantly in their face, or they’ll think they are an exception to the rule…

    Post # 10
    Member
    7858 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We put “adult reception to follow” at the bottom of the invites in smaller print. Maybe it wasn’t 100% perfect etiquette, but it sure saved us a ton of headaches. Unfortunately most people are not as well versed on wedding etiquette as the ladies on the Bee are and assume their children are invited.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3627 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It’s my experience that many of the parents who try to sneak their kids in are fully aware that the kids are not allowed and yet they try to strong-arm the couple into changing their minds. We had a childfree wedding and on our invitations, we only listed “formal reception to follow” and addressed it to the couple (not “the family”). We put “adult reception” on the website (in lieu of just “reception”) whenever we referenced the reception. Almost all of the people with kids knew what we meant. We had one couple deliberately write in “3” and listed dad, mom and child on the RSVP card which to me indicates they knew full well what they were doing.

    In other words, you can go ahead and write “adult reception to follow” on your invitation, but any parent hell-bent on bring Junior will try to do so anyway.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1500 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If it’s only going to offend a handful of people, I think you’re fine. Those are the types that will get offended at almost anything and will try to bring their children.

    Post # 13
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Gmedina17:  We are not having children either — nor are we giving “automatic” plus ones to our friends. we’re hosting a gathering of mostly family and about 20 friends (110 ppl altogether). yep, that means 90 family members without children and that’s not even all of our family.

    we explained to our friends that the invitation they will receive will be for them and not to worry because they’ll have plenty of friends there. we explained to our family that children are not invited because we just have a much larger family than we have budget and space to accomodate. when we sent the invitations we included after the line for their names, “___ seats have been reserved in your name.”

    with that we covered all of our basis. we can’t get caught with our pants down with more people than the venue holds and if, after the gentlest, most cordial explanations we could muster, they still don’t understand, then that’s their issue but we won’t allow them to make it ours.  

    the mother of my first cousins (cousins i’m not close to and definitely not close to their mom) basically assumed an invitation and, rather than cause a ruckus, we invited all of our first cousins and included her as an aunt (even though she’s the ex-girlfriend of my late uncle).  when we told them about the seating, no one had an issue. now she’s going around saying “i don’t understand why we can’t bring kids. what are we supposed to do with all of these kids?”  mind you, her 4 children have 12 children between them.  add 12 more people to the list and i haven’t added kids who are close to me? HECK NO!  i just reached out and said, i understand that child care may be an issue so please let me know if one or all of you won’t be able to attend. we hope you can.  and what’s weird is that her children have not expressed any problem with not bringing the kids. it’s her, as grandma, that is advocating on behalf of her grandchildren to be there.

    what i wanted to say was KICK ROCKS LADY. 

     

     

     

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