Adult separation anxiety – I wish they made thundershirts for people!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This baby kitty needs company:


Post # 4
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

PS I know how you feel… my dh doesn’t even travel all that often. But even one day by myself and I really start to feel cut off from society and lost in the world. I think before I got married I pushed myself harder to do stuff “out there.” Whereas now my social muscles are all loose and flabby cuz I’ve got my dear to spend time with.

But at least we have the bee for distraction!!! 🙂


Post # 5
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Aw I understand! I am lucky that I dont have to be away from DH as often, but when we are seperated……it is like the worst thing ever! DH’s great grandfather passed away on Friday, and I cried my EYES out when I found out DH would be leaving first thing the next day, and would be gone for 5 days!! He literaly had to calm me down. =[

I just hate it when he is gone! The longest we’ve gone apart has been six months…..that was…..I don’t even know how to describe it. 

Anyway, I cant imagine DH having to leave as often as your SO. So I am sorry. Sending hugs from Arizona! I hope it gets easier with time. =[ Just keep yourself busy! And before you know it he will be back! <3

Post # 7
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@cdn_bunny:  i would totally rock a human thundershirt if it was socially acceptable/invented


Post # 8
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t blame you!!!


Get a pet to keep you company! You will feel so much better!

Post # 9
16 posts

Aw, I feel for you! My SO is in a similar career travel-wise, and is on the road Mon-Thu every week. So I know how you feel! It’s been 3 years of this, and every time he goes back on the road I’m still sad. If he’s ever home for a whole week, then goes back on the road I get total separation anxiety.

Honestly, we’re kind of the same in that whenever he’s home we spend all of our time together…then I think I need more friends, but that would mean giving up time with him when he’s home! It’s tough. It has really helped me to find people who are in a similar situation. I spend a lot of time with a friend whose SO is 2 hours away…so she goes to see him/he visits her on weekend. Because of that…we see eachother after work on the week for movie nights, dinner, and totally get that we’re not as free on weekends. Unfortunately she’s moving to her SO’s city soon, so then I’ll need cute cat pictures too!

Post # 11
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

So, I know you guys are almost certainly joking, but there is such a thing for people:

It’s for people with sensory processing disorders. They are anxious without them and calmer with them. But I dunno if this works for FI-deprivation loneliness anxiety! I’m guessing it’s kinda different.

I feel guilty to admit I secretly look forward to FI’s short absences (one week or less) because I like the “me time”… two weeks and “me time” has lost much of its charm and I’m ready for him to be back…but much more than that, and I’d start to be giving the thundershirt idea more and more of a serious thought! 

Post # 13
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cdn_bunny:  As a milspouse I can say that seperation sucks when it is inevitable due to a job but hey, at least you know the duration of time spent apart! I personally love counting down days and doing cute little things like, write down on the calendar what I missed about him most that day. Then when he comes home he can read all of the cute stuff I wrote! That may be a little taxing if you would be off and on with the distance though…Lots of HUGS and feel free to message me if you ever need to talk/vent. Check out this video for a good laugh though! 

If only this was a real service….

Post # 14
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I Know how you feel my Fi is in the airforce and this year he has been away so much and found out last night his deployment home date has just been put back which is a massive frustration and so upsetting but then you eventually accept it after a few tears and count the days down again and look forward to all the good things. I found that I couldn’t sleep without my Fi I was on medication and even that didn’t give me the sleep I needed and it is due to I believe separation anxiety because as soon as he is back I sleep with no issues. I went for some hypnotherapy to help with the anxiety I get when he is away and to help me sleep and it has helped not loads but enough to get by. I don’t think anyone gets used to it so don’t feel you should have to be better at dealing with it, I get people telling me I should be used to it but they don’t have to experience our situation. 

Have you got any animals? Every time FI goes away I end up with a small furry creature lol, last time I went and got a bunny and he keeps me company on my lap and the house doesn’t feel quite so empty. Everyday we send pictures of what we are doing even if it is something silly it’s fun. I also have a chart to count the days I like crossing them off. Do you have any hobbies to past the time and think about something else? 

Fluffy bunny to make you smile 🙂 


Post # 15
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was the reason FI and I were separated (grad school in a city where he couldn’t get a job) for two years. I got two kitties when I started grad school and they stayed with me to comfort me through it, although I almost told FI to keep them the last year (he was so lonely that he considered getting a kitten and I figured we shouldn’t have three since we’re in apartments for the forseeable future). I definitely recommend getting a pet or two if you can – they can replace people pretty adequately for a couple of days, if you don’t mind that most of your non-phone conversations are with your cats.

Post # 16
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

They do make thundershirts for people – there are official “compression” shirts for people with anxiety, and unofficially, I know multiple people who find a well-fitted steel boned corset to do a good job in this regard. 

Anyway I get anxious when DH goes away too… I like to take the time to watch reruns of shows he doesn’t want to watch, and just keep the TV on all the time for company (downloaded episodes of things.) And cuddle with the dog.

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