Post # 1
We are having a destination wedding in Vegas with a smaller group attending and then a large local reception when we return. We are putting “adults only please” on the Vegas invitations and then children will be welcome at the local reception. However, we will have 2 children at the Vegas festivities that are close relatives. Only a couple people we are inviting to Vegas have small children and we are sure most would not bring their children to Vegas. There is one couple that we are aware may be offended as they bring their child everywhere, even when it is not entirely appropriate. This child has often misbehaved at our home and at several events in public. The child is 9 and plenty old enough to behave and the parents never attempt correct the poor behavior so we are not willing to make an exception. Should we let our friends know in advance that our niece and nephew will be there so that there are no hurt feelings when we arrive in Vegas? If questioned, we plan on saying we wanted to keep the event small but were not willing to exclude family. Any thoughts or ideas would be much appreciated!
Post # 3
I wouldn’t bring it up formally. You could just say in casual conversation something like “we’re only having close relatives’ 2 kids come” as an offhand comment if you really want to make them aware.
I know this totally goes against etiquette, but I think it’s fine to invite some children to weddings and not others.
We are having a big reception (almost 300 people) and while there will be some children and older kids there that we are close to, I’m not inviting every single child of every single guest. If I did that, we’d have, like, 400+ guests. Sorry, not happening.
I’m sure someone will probably be offended but you can’t help that. I’m learning that someone will ALWAYS be offended by SOMETHING — kids invited or not invited, your colors, your flowers, your food, your traditions, etc. lol
Just try not to think about it too much. If you don’t, they shouldn’t.
Post # 4
Unless those 2 kids are yours or in the wedding party, here’s really no good way to invite JUST them.
But if the parents of the two invited kids are up for it, you could always say (to the parents of the awful 9 yr old) “Oh, no kids were invited. There ust have been a misunderstanding…”
Post # 5
@WeddingInVegas14: it is not a “rule” that there must be a blanket policy. in fact, you as hostess are free to invite people based on whatever standard you like. chose to invite people by level of closeness, which meant some kids were invited, and some kids were not.
I would however skip writing “adults only” because it is simply untrue. invite people by name, and don’t mention who invited. you would never expect to see “unfortunately due to space, we respectfully ask people to not bring their grandmothers” of course not. people know if Granny’s name isn’t on the invite she invited.
If/when someone screws it up, follow up with them personally.
Post # 6
I put “adults only” on our invites, and I fully plan on having my neice (who will be 1 and is coming from 1.000 miles away), and my *little* brother.. there’s a huge age gap between us. It’s my wedding, and I don’t want kids there. And I don’t feel that I need to tell anyone that I’m having two children there – who are a part of my family and it would break my heart if they weren’t there. It is simply no one’s business.
I also didn’t want to deal with people thinking that kids were okay, which a parent typically does – even if it IS addressed to just the parents. The way I see it; I don’t want to have to call people back and say, “sorry, we decided against kids at the wedding” after they’ve already RSVP’d. That seems more rude to me than telling them from the get-go what your expectaions are. This is YOUR wedding, not theirs. There should be no reason to lie to anyone, and no one should even ask you! They should feel lucky to be invited to your ceremony and be perfectly fine with your wishes on the biggest day of your life.