Post # 1
My FI’s sister and her FI broke up on Saturday (he ended it) :-/ … They were together for 7 years, engaged, living together, and have a fur baby together and just like that it’s over…. Well i guess not “just like that” bc i guess thay have been having problems for a couple months, but still. Here is my (what seems to be insignificant) dilemma… they were suppose to be in our wedding. I know FI no longer wants his sisters ex in the wedding (bc it would be super awkward) but I have no clue if his sister still wants to be a bridesmaid.. like if she can still do it emotionally (she has depression problems on top of the current situation). Can she stand there and watch me and her brother vow to love eachother forever when what she thought was her forever broke up with her less than 2 months prior?? i feel so terrible that their relationship is ending and I can’t even imagine how she feels but at the same time, our wedding is quickly approaching :-/ … I think me and FI are kind of in denial bc we keep thinking they’re going to work it out but it isn’t looking good. How do we/when do we/do we at all bring up our bridal party situation?? Is it possible to do without sounding like insensitive a-holes??
Post # 3
So sad. I would get together with her to check in and just put it out there – ask her if she should like to participate or not. I think whether she is a BM or a guest, either way will be difficult attending a wedding.
Post # 4
For right now I would not bring it up at all and just support her. Give her at least a few weeks before you sit down with her and tell her how sorry you are for everything she is going through, and that you know the wedding may be a bit difficult for her. If she wants to bow down, she probably will at that point. But I wouldn’t point blank ask her, you don’t want it to seem like you want her to step down for the sake of even numbers or anything silly like that.
Post # 5
It’s nice that your so concerned, but it looks like you’ve got a little time before you even have to talk about it. And it is a HUGE deal that this relationship fell apart, but I’ll bet that just because her relationship didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean she can’t be excited and happy at your wedding, it’s all a gamble anyway and to me, weddings are the proof that it’s still worth the risk…give her some time and if you get to the end of September and she hasn’t mentioned it, take her out to dinner for a chat, check in and see where she’s at…
Post # 6
Yeah, the FI and I definitely have to let the dust settle. This was huge. I still want her to be in the wedding but would understand if it would be too much for her. Since FI knows he is going to ask/tell the ex he’s no longer a groomsman he wants to know if he needs to ask someone else to step up. I mean should she decide she still wants to be in the wedding I wouldn’t want her walking alone… I think that might upset her. If she thinks she can’t do it then we’re down a pair and we’ll just leave it, but if FI needs to ask someone we will need to know soon because it’s already short notice. I will just wait to even bring it up tho. We’ll help her get out of her current situation and get into a better one and like I said let the dust settle and then address it when we feel the timing is right… or as good as it’s going to get. Thanks for the advice bees!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Let the dust settle. I wouldn’t even mention the wedding to her for a couple of weeks.
If you end up with uneven numbers, you can have the girls walk down the aisle alone, that’s what we did since we were 3 on his side, 2 on mine.
Post # 8
Or if its uneven have one groomsman escort a bridesmaid on each arm.
Post # 9
Poor girl, I can only imagine how upset she must be. Glad you guys are there for her and looking out for her best interest. I would just ask her if she would still like to be in the wedding as I’m sure you still will. I personally wouldn’t ask someone to take the ex’s place. I personally think that’s a little rude to add someone last minute just so you don’t have even numbers. I could imagine that person would not be very wanted. Uneven numbers in wedding parties work just fine. I would just have one groomsmen escort two bridesmaids.