Post # 1
Please help with your advice. I have been married for a year and just recently I have been relentlessly asking my husband about his past relationships and comparing myself to them. I have also asked him about his sexual past and have found out that before he met me he was promiscuous and had a couple of threesomes which, the thought of really upsets me. he was 31 when we met and I was 29 and I had previous relationships. How can I put all this knowledge behind me and stop obsessing? He told me that his threesomes happened when he was around his mid twenties, but I am not sure if I believe him. Please help!
Post # 3
Past is the past. Can’t change it. Deal with it and move on. If you can’t, i believe its your fault for even asking, you knew asking would upset you if you found out the truth, you found out, now you are upset. Learn to move on, you are married now. He’s with you, not them.
Post # 4
@Ozzie: It’s more the fact that I cannot seem to keep questioning him which is really unfair on him. Has anyone else been like that? It’s bizarre, I seem to keep doing it even though deep down I know that it holds no relevance to nowmeh as anyone else been the same?
Post # 5
You shouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want to know the answer. If he told you straight out the first time you asked him I doubt he is lying. If this is a real problem you can’t let go of then you and your husband need to seek counseling your insecurity will end up affecting the marriage eventually.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t worry about some threesomes he had in his past- esp if it was just 2 random girls and not someone he was in a serious relationship with. I would worry if he was asking you for threesomes. But it seems he isn’t. I think sometimes when we find out something like that we get the thought or the image sort of stuck in our brain and running on a loop. When you feel caught up in thinking about and can’t seem to derail that line of thinking try to do some relaxation excercises. Take some deep breaths and try to repeat a mantra- maybe something like “what’s past is past, I am going to stay in the present” Something to try to help ground you in the now. Again, as long as he’s not asking you for threesomes or lamenting his lost threesome days- you have nothing to worry about. Good luck!