(Closed) advice about healing from relationship anxiety/abandonment fears?

posted 5 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@gut_feeling:  I am so sorry. πŸ™  I too have these issues and am currently engaged to a great guy as well.  I am seeking therapy and hope to resolve these issues before we get married.

Hugs to you, I hope some of the other bees can offer great advice.

Post # 5
Member
917 posts
Busy bee

@gut_feeling:  I feel for you Hun. I have depression and anxiety, which alone is enough of a struggle then add in abandonement issues from my mother (very long story short; she cheated on my dad and only wanted custody of me for the child support cheques and was very abusive. She also allowed her then bf, now husband to be abusive towards us kids too and ended up choosing said drugging dealer bf over her three kids. Dad got full custody of me when I was 10, after I opened up about being abused and when I was 13 my mother called so say she was married and had a baby girl, and ” finally had the daughter she always wanted”.) 

 

I used to do the same as you and it took me longer than it should have to seek help for my depression and anxiety, but it hadn’t of been for my SO, I probably never would have. I had to realise what I had with him was real and worth fixing myself for, otherwise I was going to lose a great man that I could see a real future with. Going to therapy is a great first step and I’m proud of you for doing that! Anytime you find yourself thinking negatively, shake your head and think of something positive ( I think about my gorgeous pets) or something that makes you happy, go on a funny website and distract yourself from the negativity. It’s a process, but you will get there. And you never know, once you start seeing yourself for what you’re really worth, the right guy might just come along, or back. πŸ˜‰

 

Post # 7
Member
1376 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@gut_feeling:  I just got off the phone with my wonderful guy, the guy I hurt terribly because I’ve been acting crazy and not trusting him for the past several weeks, for no reason at all. Fortunately, we talked it out and no damage to our relationship, but wow, that was a catalyst for changing my attitude and maybe even getting some professional help. So yes, I know what you are feeling EXACTLY. Big hugs to you and good luck working through these issues.

Post # 8
Member
917 posts
Busy bee

@gut_feeling:  long road, yes possibly. But you’ll never be alone, I’m just a pm away with any help or support I can offer! I think my major turning was going to my GP Dr and starting medication (I was really against this) but realised it was the only thing that was going to help me see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m in the process of changing career paths, and in the meantime throwing myself into my hobbies; art and photography. I still have those days where I just don’t want to get out of bed, but luckily for me one of my two cats will come in wanting to go out the backyard so I’ll go and sit with them out there until I feel recharged. Basically I guess my main advice is focus on what makes you smile, because the more you smile the better you’ll start to feel about yourself. x

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