Weddingbee boards

Hi!  My brother is getting married in a few months and my parents are struggling with the rehearsal dinner.  The wedding is in our hometown, and it is basically a "destination wedding" because our family and friends will have to drive 2-7 hours to get there, and most of her family and friends will have to fly (from other states and overseas).  My parents have planned a rehearsal dinner for the wedding party and dates, and immediate family (brothers, sisters, and grandparents).  My brother and fiance have just given my parents a list of names of her family and friends from her home state and foreign country to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  My parents don't know what to do.  They do not think it is fair to invite these few people to the rehearsal dinner, just because they are flying in, where the people who are driving 7 hours wouldn't be invited.  I suggested they have the rehearsal dinner for wedding party and immediate family, and then invite everyone to a welcome party at a local bar (that will be pay-your-own way).  I feel badly for my parents because they cannot afford to pay for all the out of town guests to come to a rehearsal dinner and also fthey eel that it is not what the spirit of the dinner is about.  Any thoughts or suggestions?  Thanks!

I agree with your suggestion of a seperate welcome party and sdbride suggestion to talk to your brother and have him pitch the idea of a seperate thing to his fiance. Maybe you guys can find a nice loungy place that has free admission and cheaper appetizers or just use a suite and have an open house situation with cheap appetizer plates from say costco or sams.

i agree with both sdbride and sunsetislove. we're having a destination wedding this fall and all of us are flying in. we're planning to have a rehearsal dinner but with the bridal party and two add'l family members only. We'd love to be able to invite the rest of the guests but it is just too much for our budget to handle.  We are planning on spending time with our guests before the wedding however: something more casual and laid back (ie pay-your-own-way) so that we can have fun and relax before all of the festivities.

my two suggestions are: 1)ask your brother and fiancee to contribute financially, if they can, to the rehearsal dinner if they're adamant about having all the people on the guest list or 2) ask your brother, fiancee  and parents to compromise on the guest list and choose only those people who absolutely need to be present at the rehearsal dinner (ie. grandparents, etc.). 

IMO, the rehearsal dinner should be about sharing those last special moments with those closest to you before the wedding, shouldn't it?