So I just came back from my Vegas batchlorette party, which was lots of fun, and went by so fast! I had an a girl who came with us pretty much ditch my party to go hook up with a guy she knew in Vegas. I work with her, she's younger, 22, so I can kinda understand the boy crazyness that comes along! Before we went on the trip she kept talking about wanting to meet up with this guy, basically telling me, not asking if I minded. I didn't really say anything just because I have so much to stress about I don't need any other issues! So not even an hour after we arrive she's calling this guy, leaves to have a drink and say's she'll come back before our next planned event. So, I call to let her know our plans and timeline, she should come back soon so she can get ready,,and she's telling me she'll meet me at the venue,,,I was so annyoed with her selfishness, I just handed the phone to someone else. So she figured out I was pissed and came back and was complaining to my other friend that " She knew I was going to do this! I don't know why she's mad at me!" It really put a whole damper on the party because everyone saw I was upset and didn't know why this chick was being so rude! I just took a shot and decided I wouldn't let this girl ruin my weekend! But I'm not the type of person to be fake either, so she knew I was disappointed with her. She did end up staying the night with this guy, oh yeah, she invited him up to the room, (he was not all that!) I was livid! Are you kidding me! She left with him and stayed at his place, didn't come back till 2pm the next day, not bothering to let anyone know where she was or when she was coming back! To make it even more intersting, her boss and other co-worker where also at the party, and they were tripping out on her! The thing is, I do work with this girl, and I'm really upset still. Should I let her know how I feel? I'm so mad, that I almost want to un-invite her to my bridal shower, and wedding! I only work with her part-time, otherwise I am at my studio. This girl's fakeness and selfishness just really turned me off, and I just want to eliminate that relationship,,,,,am I being a bridezilla, too emotional? The wedding is in 33 days,,,,I don't need to be dwelling on this crap, but like I said, I'm not one to be fake, and I don't want to hold any grudges. Thanks for any input.
Doesn't seem like there is a lot you can really do about it. I would blow it off and just ignore her. If she's invited to the wedding, avoid her for the evening and don't care about what she does. She seems to be no real threat as she's not in the wedding party and of no real connection to you. Just end the friendship and move on, you have a lot more to do then worry about her.
You have a right to be angry, she accepted an invitation to celebrate with you and she blew it off. But, if it were me, I'd let go of it. You are a month out (eek) and unless you can calmly tell her that she hurt your feelings, then I'd just drop it. You don't need bad vibes hanging around. You did know beforehand that this was a posssibility. You also knew that she is immature. If you can, what I would address with her is her accoutnability. I don't know what industry you work in, but playing a fool in front of your co-workers and boss, isn't going to get her far. Maybe you or another co-worker can bring it up to her in that light...and drop in hints about all the fun she missed while she was hooking up!
I'm sorry she put a damper on your weekend, but look ahead to your wedding day and not waste energy on her!
I don't know why you would waste a minute of energy on this girl. Forget it and move on. She isn't really your friend but as you have already invited her, let the invitation stand rather than waste time and effort undoing it.
I think at this point, the drama of "un-inviting" this girl is just more stress than you need one month out. It's probably best to just let it go, especially if you're not particularly close to her. Besides, you'll be so busy having fun and socializing with everyone else at the wedding, you'll probably barely even notice she's there!
I don't want to be the next one you go off on...but I kind of think you're over reacting. *ducking, just in case you're throwing something at me!* If she's not in your bridal party and not even a close friend, just someone you work with part time, who cares? If she wanted to skip it for a guy, that's her loss. I wouldn't let it spoil your parties or your wedding. You can smooth it over by just mentioning "hey- I was pissed you went all the way to vegas with me to skip my party. Next time, just let me know you have other plans instead & I won't expect you" that way she can know to come & support you or stay home. Unfortunately, Vegas is just one of those places that makes it hard to corral people & you can't be the boss of everyone. it should be your day & your party, but if someone doesn't have their heart in it, you can't force her by being angry. I hope you've cooled off & can work it out (& that you're not mad at me either...)
Okay sooooo - your part-time co-worker is a sl*t. And worse yet, the kind of sl*t to ditches her girlfriends to get laid. I'm not entirely clear as to why she was invited to your bachelorette anyway - and for future planning purposes, girlfriends who are actually your friends should probably be more interested in spending their time with you - but you have her number now, and that's in the past. The person who looked bad in all this was her. The only way you look bad is if you let it get to you too much. The best thing to do is just ignore her. You'll easily be able to get through the wedding without hardly seeing her - weddings are just that way. She's hardly going to have time to pick up a guy at the shower, and while you can't really ignore her through the whole shower you would be surprised how little you can get away with interacting with someone. Just make sure you sit on the other side of the room. Maybe sit her next to someone really chatty. And next time you're tempted to invite her to something, think again!
I don't know how old you are, but I do know that I was a different person at 22 than I am at 27 (though I have never ditched the girls for a guy). In my opinion, I would let the invitations stand and let her decide how to proceed. Everyone makes mistakes, right? If you feel that the relationship is worth it, I might say something to her to the effect that sweettea suggested in order to clear the air.
Jeez, guys, it's Vegas. Please don't start calling the girl names just because she's 22 and wanted to have fun. For some reason, I get the feeling that if one of your FI's groomsmen met up with a girl, he would be getting cheered for it. Let's not perpetuate old-fashioned double-standards, okay?
To the OP: I'm so glad that you didn't let her ruin your weekend! But I kind of agree with sweettea. Just let it go. I know how you're feeling -- my wedding is in 33 days too and I want to un-invite all of my bridesmaids. But really, she's not worth this stress!
i agree.. just be the bigger person and let it go.. with the situation happening between you two, she may not come to the wedding.. at either rate, you would not even have time to socialize with every guest so cherish the day.
I don't intend this to be snarky but I would rather hang out with some guy that I really like than with a random co-worker. (I am only saying you are random because you invited her and you were not even friends.) Plus she did warn you that she would be hanging out with him.
Don't waste any more time being upset about this. It is not worth it.
thanks for all the input girls. Just for a little more info,,,she was considered a close friend, not just a co-worker! We've hung out numerous times, I've even taken care of her dog! So to the comment that you'd rather hang out with a guy than a random co-worker, it soo wasn't like that! I have cooled off and decided I will just be the bigger person and maybe mention a little something that she was a disappointment, other than that, I'm over the whole situation and her. I was cool to her the rest of our weekend, even asking how the sex was,(because she was letting everyone know that she "had to get laid!" and she just shrugged and said, "Eh, it wasn't all that." So yes, the s#%t part kinda fits! I think she showed her true colors to everyone, she even lied about buying me a lap dance, my other girlfriend did, but she ran up to her and asked if she could take the credit because she needed to earn "brownie points" with me,,,can you believe that! Alright,,,I'm getting worked up again,,,breathe,,,I have so much other s&#t to worry about! Thanks again for the advice, it's great to be able to vent where other girls hear you out and somewhat know what you're going through! So glad you're here!
So I just came back from my Vegas batchlorette party, which was lots of fun, and went by so fast! I had an a girl who came with us pretty much ditch my party to go hook up with a guy she knew in Vegas. I work with her, she's younger, 22, so I can kinda understand the boy crazyness that comes along! Before we went on the trip she kept talking about wanting to meet up with this guy, basically telling me, not asking if I minded. I didn't really say anything just because I have so much to stress about I don't need any other issues! So not even an hour after we arrive she's calling this guy, leaves to have a drink and say's she'll come back before our next planned event. So, I call to let her know our plans and timeline, she should come back soon so she can get ready,,and she's telling me she'll meet me at the venue,,,I was so annyoed with her selfishness, I just handed the phone to someone else. So she figured out I was pissed and came back and was complaining to my other friend that " She knew I was going to do this! I don't know why she's mad at me!" It really put a whole damper on the party because everyone saw I was upset and didn't know why this chick was being so rude! I just took a shot and decided I wouldn't let this girl ruin my weekend! But I'm not the type of person to be fake either, so she knew I was disappointed with her. She did end up staying the night with this guy, oh yeah, she invited him up to the room, (he was not all that!) I was livid! Are you kidding me! She left with him and stayed at his place, didn't come back till 2pm the next day, not bothering to let anyone know where she was or when she was coming back! To make it even more intersting, her boss and other co-worker where also at the party, and they were tripping out on her! The thing is, I do work with this girl, and I'm really upset still. Should I let her know how I feel? I'm so mad, that I almost want to un-invite her to my bridal shower, and wedding! I only work with her part-time, otherwise I am at my studio. This girl's fakeness and selfishness just really turned me off, and I just want to eliminate that relationship,,,,,am I being a bridezilla, too emotional? The wedding is in 33 days,,,,I don't need to be dwelling on this crap, but like I said, I'm not one to be fake, and I don't want to hold any grudges. Thanks for any input.
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 3 months agoDoesn't seem like there is a lot you can really do about it. I would blow it off and just ignore her. If she's invited to the wedding, avoid her for the evening and don't care about what she does. She seems to be no real threat as she's not in the wedding party and of no real connection to you. Just end the friendship and move on, you have a lot more to do then worry about her.
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 3 months agoYou have a right to be angry, she accepted an invitation to celebrate with you and she blew it off. But, if it were me, I'd let go of it. You are a month out (eek) and unless you can calmly tell her that she hurt your feelings, then I'd just drop it. You don't need bad vibes hanging around. You did know beforehand that this was a posssibility. You also knew that she is immature. If you can, what I would address with her is her accoutnability. I don't know what industry you work in, but playing a fool in front of your co-workers and boss, isn't going to get her far. Maybe you or another co-worker can bring it up to her in that light...and drop in hints about all the fun she missed while she was hooking up!
I'm sorry she put a damper on your weekend, but look ahead to your wedding day and not waste energy on her!
posted by jenniferb 47 posts 3 months agoI think undoing invitations will be more stress than just resolving to let things lie and basically minimizing your interaction with her from here on.
posted by MsPopcorn 104 posts 3 months agoI think uninviting her will make you look petty... esp since your coworker and boss are also invited... just be the bigger person and let it go.
posted by StrawberryBaby 104 posts 3 months agoI don't know why you would waste a minute of energy on this girl. Forget it and move on. She isn't really your friend but as you have already invited her, let the invitation stand rather than waste time and effort undoing it.
posted by Surgie 49 posts 3 months agoI think at this point, the drama of "un-inviting" this girl is just more stress than you need one month out. It's probably best to just let it go, especially if you're not particularly close to her. Besides, you'll be so busy having fun and socializing with everyone else at the wedding, you'll probably barely even notice she's there!
posted by ChrissyM 32 posts 3 months agoI don't want to be the next one you go off on...but I kind of think you're over reacting. *ducking, just in case you're throwing something at me!* If she's not in your bridal party and not even a close friend, just someone you work with part time, who cares? If she wanted to skip it for a guy, that's her loss. I wouldn't let it spoil your parties or your wedding. You can smooth it over by just mentioning "hey- I was pissed you went all the way to vegas with me to skip my party. Next time, just let me know you have other plans instead & I won't expect you" that way she can know to come & support you or stay home. Unfortunately, Vegas is just one of those places that makes it hard to corral people & you can't be the boss of everyone. it should be your day & your party, but if someone doesn't have their heart in it, you can't force her by being angry. I hope you've cooled off & can work it out (& that you're not mad at me either...)
posted by sweettea 13 posts 3 months agoOkay sooooo - your part-time co-worker is a sl*t. And worse yet, the kind of sl*t to ditches her girlfriends to get laid. I'm not entirely clear as to why she was invited to your bachelorette anyway - and for future planning purposes, girlfriends who are actually your friends should probably be more interested in spending their time with you - but you have her number now, and that's in the past. The person who looked bad in all this was her. The only way you look bad is if you let it get to you too much. The best thing to do is just ignore her. You'll easily be able to get through the wedding without hardly seeing her - weddings are just that way. She's hardly going to have time to pick up a guy at the shower, and while you can't really ignore her through the whole shower you would be surprised how little you can get away with interacting with someone. Just make sure you sit on the other side of the room. Maybe sit her next to someone really chatty. And next time you're tempted to invite her to something, think again!
posted by suzanno 1,953 posts 3 months agoI don't know how old you are, but I do know that I was a different person at 22 than I am at 27 (though I have never ditched the girls for a guy). In my opinion, I would let the invitations stand and let her decide how to proceed. Everyone makes mistakes, right? If you feel that the relationship is worth it, I might say something to her to the effect that sweettea suggested in order to clear the air.
posted by ErinMarieMack 262 posts 3 months agoJeez, guys, it's Vegas. Please don't start calling the girl names just because she's 22 and wanted to have fun. For some reason, I get the feeling that if one of your FI's groomsmen met up with a girl, he would be getting cheered for it. Let's not perpetuate old-fashioned double-standards, okay?
To the OP: I'm so glad that you didn't let her ruin your weekend! But I kind of agree with sweettea. Just let it go. I know how you're feeling -- my wedding is in 33 days too and I want to un-invite all of my bridesmaids. But really, she's not worth this stress!
posted by rebecca 984 posts 3 months agoi agree.. just be the bigger person and let it go.. with the situation happening between you two, she may not come to the wedding.. at either rate, you would not even have time to socialize with every guest so cherish the day.
posted by melbride 95 posts 3 months agoI don't intend this to be snarky but I would rather hang out with some guy that I really like than with a random co-worker. (I am only saying you are random because you invited her and you were not even friends.) Plus she did warn you that she would be hanging out with him.
Don't waste any more time being upset about this. It is not worth it.
posted by cassoftroy 15 posts 3 months agothanks for all the input girls. Just for a little more info,,,she was considered a close friend, not just a co-worker! We've hung out numerous times, I've even taken care of her dog! So to the comment that you'd rather hang out with a guy than a random co-worker, it soo wasn't like that! I have cooled off and decided I will just be the bigger person and maybe mention a little something that she was a disappointment, other than that, I'm over the whole situation and her. I was cool to her the rest of our weekend, even asking how the sex was,(because she was letting everyone know that she "had to get laid!" and she just shrugged and said, "Eh, it wasn't all that." So yes, the s#%t part kinda fits! I think she showed her true colors to everyone, she even lied about buying me a lap dance, my other girlfriend did, but she ran up to her and asked if she could take the credit because she needed to earn "brownie points" with me,,,can you believe that! Alright,,,I'm getting worked up again,,,breathe,,,I have so much other s&#t to worry about! Thanks again for the advice, it's great to be able to vent where other girls hear you out and somewhat know what you're going through! So glad you're here!
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 3 months ago