- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
One of the girls in my wedding has been in and out of the most horrible relationship for the past 2 years. She met this guy in college, and for like the first month she was happier than I’d ever seen her before. Then it started. She would call me crying one week because he was breaking up with her and saying nasty things to her. Next week, they would be back together and she would just forget about how crappy he treated her. This has been going on for over 2 years now.
In August he broke up with her again, and of course she was really hoping they could work things out. I was about to leave on vacation, so I spontaniously sent this jerk a facebook message (which I now kind of regret doing). I basically asked him how he would feel if someone was treating his sister the way he treats my friend. I guess the message really hit home. He told my friend it made him physically ill for 2 days. Whatever.
Anyways, after this happened they finally decided to end things “for good” and see other people. Just for refrence, this guy has dated my friend on and off for 2 years and never once has he bought her a Christmas, Birthday, or Valentines gift. Not even a card! He has never met her family. His excuse being that he is too busy running the family farm. He lives in a neighboring state and it is kind of a drive but my friend would drive out there almost every weekend to see him. Yet, never once did he come to see her. So he had a really great thing going where he only had to see my friend every few weekends and never had to put forth any effort to see her.
So in August, they stop seeing each other, and in September my friend started seeing someone else. I met the guy, he was super nice, and she seemed happy. I thought that this was exactly what she needed to finally forget her ex. Well, of course as soon as her ex finds out that she is seeing someone else and might be happy, he starts texting her and calling her to tell her how much he misses her. I tried to tell her to ignore him, and I thought she was happy with new guy.
Well about 10 days ago, she called me to inform me that she is moving out of state to go live on his farm with him in January. She just started a paralegal program and will only be halfway done by then. When I asked her about this, she said that she was sick of school and might finish later. Ok… She has massive amounts of school loan debt and credit card debt, and seems to think she will be able to find a job somewhere in farm country. ???
I’m so annoyed with her that I haven’t been able to answer her calls or call her back for the past 10 days. I don’t know what to do. If I never had to hear about this guy again, it would be too soon. I don’t think that moving in with someone as emotionally abusive as he is will be good for her. In fact, I am about 95% sure their relationship will be a failure no matter what they do. Of course she knows I dislike him, but I don’t really tell her everything I am thinking in order to preserve the friendship.
As selfish as it is, I do not want to invite this guy to my wedding. I hate him for how he treats my friend. He is honestly the last person I want there that day. I don’t know how I can’t invite him though, if he is living with my friend who is in my wedding. My FI told me not to worry about it because he thinks that they will be broken up by then.
I honestly want my friend to be happy, but I can’t take hearing about this guy anymore. It is all we talk about anymore. Have any of you been in a situation like this? I would love to hear some advice. It makes me so sad that they are trying to save their relationship by moving in together. I moved in with my FI because our relationship was so GOOD not bad.
Advice please ladies!