Post # 1
I’ve been in the planning stages for my wedding for only a few weeks, and only recently told my family of my engagement. Me and H2B live in a different state from my family and his, and frankly wanted to act like two silly kids in love before announceing it to everyone.
Anyway, my twin has only been dating her boyfriend for less then a year, and not a week after I told her of my engagement, she is all of a sudden planning her wedding loudly on facebook, and telling everyone she is going to get married before the date me and H2B set.
I, maybe pettily, told her I suppose me and the H2B will pay for everything ourselves now as my mother cannot affored two weddings less then a year apart. Her response was only of the “oh well, should have been faster” variety. I texed her boyfriend asking him why they picked a date before my wedding to have theirs as I generally have a better chance of not being totally upset and irrational with him and apparently he had no idea they were were planning a wedding.
I’m really confused and would seriously hate to give into the idea that my sister is only doing this to one up or out do me and H2B, but it really looks like that is what is going on. I don’t want to turn into a bridezilla, and make an ass out of myself by confronting anyone with this, but I don’t know what else to do. I feel as if I dont say anything about this her boyfriend might leave her or she may do something horrible at my wedding just because she can. and I HATE thinking she could do this to me!
Post # 3
Maybe her FI didn’t appreciate the talk you had with your sister (his FI) and felt that the reason they chose the date they did was none of your business 9and hence told you a BS story)!
Maybe they were reacting to your pettiness?
Post # 4
no, she’s saying they announced it and then OP tried to talk to them.
don’t let it get to you. if she’s feeling insecure or trying to one-up you, let that be her problem. you and your FI enjoy your engagement and plan the wedding you both want. jealousy is ugly but what can you do? maybe try talking to her when things settle down but your sister will just have to get over it
Post # 5
I don’t think you are being petty and I can understand your frustration. Honestly I would take the high road on this one. Talk to your mother about budget and if she is willing to help and plan your wedding regardless of what your sister is doing. Concetrate on you and FI only and what you two want for your wedding. I would just let it go and let her continue on with her antics. If you don’t let it bother you maybe she will stop trying to one up you. I’m sure its not easy for her knowing her sister is getting married just as its not easy for you trying to plan a wedding around a wedding that may or may not be happening. Right now is the time to focus on you and your FI. Good luck 🙂
Post # 6
Maybe they had other reasons for choosing that particular date other then being competitave?
As for you paying for your own wedding, I guess you have talked to your mother about this? If she had already promised you that she would pay part of the wedding she would still do so.
Post # 7
@totheislnds: Agreed. Take the high road. Talk to your mother. I’m sure she will do what she can for both of your weddings and just because one is “first” doesn’t mean the other will get no money.
Post # 8
Also, if hers is first you can always learn from her mistakes
Post # 9
Wait, her boyfriend said he didn’t know they were even planning a wedding? Your sister sounds jealous. Continue on with your planning and talk to your mother about the situation. Let her make the call on what to do.
Post # 10
@armychica06: Yup, he was as confused as the rest of us. He’s never on FB so he didn’t even notice.
Post # 11
@HisLittleRed: mabey hell get scared and dump her ass wont that be a kick from KARMA
its not nice and i would be livid with her. you have every right to be mad shes the pettie one
Post # 12
Sounds like your sis has been hoping her BF would propose by a certain time and hoping she could have a specific wedding date. Maybe they have even been talking marriage and planning a proposal. However, unless she is actually engaged, it seems wrong for her to be trying to make these moves. Especially if her BF is unaware of what’s going on. Honestly, this indirect pressure from her might make him want to delay the proposal.
Post # 13
She’s planning her wedding ON FACEBOOK. That her boyfriend apparently doesn’t know about, or is willing to tell people he doesn’t know about.
Seems like a play for attention to me. Has she always been the type to want the spotlight?
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Talk to your mom, but I’d couch it more as a “have you seen the way Susie’s been acting lately? I wonder what’s going on with her…” and then lead into budget talk. If it happens, it happens- be happy for your sister that she’s getting married, regardless of the date. If it doesn’t happen- which I think is the likelier outcome- you stressed for nothing, so don’t stress.
Post # 14
Take the high road and be the better sister.
Take lots of deep breaths, and ignore her antics. Behave as though she is truly engaged and planning a wedding, and act happy for her, even if you’re not. Then charge ahead and focus on working with your mother to plan your wedding (your poor mother must be even more stressed out than you are about this), and let your sister’s drama unravel on its own.
Post # 15
@HisNightOwl2014: LOL I said this, too. I’d punch her in the face, personally, since WHO THE FUCK ACTS LIKE THAT?! I mean, I think it’s hilarious when FI’s younger siblings try to call one another out in front of their parents, but this is a whole ‘nother level entirely.
But I guess you should probably just roll your eyes and ignore her. Talk to your mom about it.
Post # 16
@HisLittleRed: I really doubt your mother is going to put all her available resources into only one wedding. I bet your sister’s wedding doesn’t happen on that date anyway.