Post # 1
If you have been following my previous posts about my recent trip to the salon…Or if you look back on my posts, can you help me or lend some advice?
I’ll be going back to the salon tomorrow in NYC where I had purchased my Nicole Miller EO0009 gown. I loved it, it fit well, I felt amazing, but it just wasn’t IT. I didn’t realize it until I started looking at pictures of myself in the gown the day after.
I am going back for either reassurance that the dress is what I want, and/or to try on other gown styles such as Martina Liana 411 (which is the type of dress I really wanted but never tried on).
Unfortunately, after purchasing my gown last Saturday, and not calling them until last Tuesday to tell them that I regretted it…they informed me that most likely I could not return my purchase because the order was already placed with the designer. (It’s in the contract, we knew this)
The dress was $1,100, and the belt was $950…we didn’t have to pay sales tax and got a major discount on my veil/blusher set.
The issue is that if I love Martina, which would be considerably more than Nicole Miller, but still in my price range. Do you think I should ask that they keep the belt (it won’t match anyway) since it’s almost the same price as the dress, and use that credit towards my new dress? Should I try to have them keep my Nicole Miller too?
Any advice would be great, and also advice on how to act/feel when I go there…I feel embarassed! 🙁
Thanks all from a confused bee…
Post # 3
I think the dress you chose is stunning and you look incredible in it. But, speaking as a bride who also had dress regret (and chose a new dress), I think you need to try on the other dress to know for sure. Your wedding day is special and you should not have any regrets.
If the other dress is IT, then I don’t see why the store wouldn’t take the belt back to use as credit towards the new one. Good luck and keep us updated!
Post # 4
I also had dress regret and was able to cancel the order for the first one after 3 days… the store was able to get a ‘credit’ from the designer which I was able to use toward the purchase of another dress. It took a lot of begging and pleading but it worked out in the end! Definetly see what they can do if you decide you don’t want your original dress.
Post # 5
You don’t like the pictures of yourself in the dress because:
1. It isn’t fitted properly yet;
2. You are slouching in all of those pictures;
3. You aren’t wearing a crinoline. A mermaid style crinoline will give you the flair you’re looking for.
The dress is stunning, you are stunning in it,and if you stood up straight, you could see that! I went back and read your original post of how you were shaking and crying when you tried it on! I am so envious of girls who have that experience. I think it’s worth keeping.
The frugal side of me is dying at the cost of that belt. I would try to return it/make them keep it and look for seomthing nice on etsy or recycled bride. It cost as much as the dress!!!
Post # 6
@Tangled: Thanks for the input!
I took into account that it wasn’t fitted, it was more of I don’t want a mermaid/trumpet style…I wanted a fit and flare dropped waist with organza material!
The belt made the gown, I tried on less expensive belts but that Jim Hjelm was it, I almost died too when they told me the cost of the belt, BEING AS MUCH AS THE DRESS!
I don’t care for crinoline at all! It makes the dress too stiff for my taste. I love a flowy dress. I probably should have thought of this before I said yes but I was in the moment!
I really cried because my Mother-In-Law was crying, my boss was gawking at how gorgeous I was, I was so damn hot and nervous because I knew it was my first time trying on anything and I didn’t want it to be the last…the sales people were staring and so sweet and complimenting…I don’t know it was a mix of everything!
@Josina: Oh I’m so glad to hear that worked out for you! I really hope they can do the same for me…
Post # 7
I love the look of your Nicole Miller gown! And the blingy belt makes that dress! I personally don’t like the Martina Liana 411 as much as I like the look of your current gown.
As you noted, the bridal salon legally does not have to return or refund either purchase for you, and I would be surprised if they would agree to do that. Perhaps they would agree to exchange the belt for store credit. However, I still would not potentially throw away more than $1K just because you’re not 100 percent sure of your dress.
Post # 8
@BellaDee: Well then, I suggest being a total hard-ass and not letting them push you around. I also suggest reading “Getting to Yes” and “Getting Past No.” (or at least skimming them) There is ALWAYS room for negotiation. I suggest trying calm and clear negotiation at first: “This is what I want. Would you please give me some suggestions about a compromise we could reach so that we can both win from this interaction.” Don’t let up. Stay there for hours. Speak to the manager, owner, designer if you have to. And if you can, force some tears. If they really won’t budge: a. write them a bad review; and b. That is a very classic dress and I’m sure you wont’ have a tough time selling it!
You only get one wedding dress, girl. Get the one you want.
Post # 9
@Tangled: THIS 100%!
I really don’t think the shape will be as different as you are imagining, that sample is way to big on you and thus the flare is a lot lower than it will be on your actual dress in your size!
I had the same type of freak out, I loved when I tried my dress on in the store but when I got home and looked at pictures I felt like a COW because it made me look huge! But that was because the sample was huge on me and did not fit correctly. To be honest my dress came in huge, and I was freaked until my alterations where finished! Having it fit to your body makes all the difference in the world, I swear! Even after all the freak outs, my dress fit perfectly when all was said and done. Yours will also look eons better when it’s fitted, so my advice is to stop obsessing over it, and give yourself time to chill and see the dress fit to you!
Post # 10
@Brielle: We put down 60% of 2760, about 1600 and change. So we wouldn’t lose everything, I hope….they seemed set on no refund, but the fact that I was interested in another gown which would cost more, wouldn’t it make sense for them to say ok, we’ll credit your other gown and/or belt for this?
Because if they don’t, who’s to say I won’t just get my Martina Liana, or some other gown, from somewhere else?
Post # 11
@BellaDee: Exactly the points you should use in your negotiation!!! Also, you should scope out nearby salons and find out how much they charge for the dress you want. Have a back-up plan on hand: “Listen, if you don’t help me out here, I am going to go spend XX amount at your competitor down the street, and you’re not going to get a very good review from me on all of the wedding websites I frequent. If you want to make this work for both of us, then I would love to buy the dress I want from you.”
Post # 12
@Tangled: If they really won’t budge: a. write them a bad review;
why should the salon get a bad review because OP has dress regret? Doesn’t sound like they’ve done anything wrong.
Post # 14
The practical side of me says that you’re being a bit ridiculous – this is ONE DAY and you’ve already spent $2,000 on your dress/belt etc. and you loved it when you tried it.. enough to buy it… so why change it? I know ladies get caught up in the whole wedding experience, but instead of buying another dress, couldn’t you spend that money on something else? Vacation? Set up a college fund for future kids? etc. Just saying.
On the other hand, if you can afford it, and if you can get some of the money back.. then I guess it is your special day so maybe it is worth it to change the dress if this is so important to you? I am not sure I quite understand what money you may or may not be able to get back. If you are getting a different dress, then you need to see if you can get a credit for the belt if you can, so you can apply it to the cost of the new dress.I wouldn’t have the salon “keep” anything if you’re not getting money back. Sell what you can on eBay if you have to.
Personally if I couldn’t get the full money back I’d just go with my original choice. Just my 2 cents…
Post # 15
@Tangled: Thank you so much for this advice!!!!! I will take this all into consideration!
@ChemistryBride: Yeah that’s how I feel, but I also looked at some alternative model photos of it fitted, and also real brides…and it is way too elgant I think for me!
Look at these…
1. You cannot see the bodice detail which is seemed to make a corset effect. You can’t see it in ANY pictures…not even the professional model ones!!! That was the whole point of the gown. You can only see it close up like this:
(this seam detail is also down the thigh)
2. I wish it flared from the thigh! I hate that it flares or is supposed to flare at or past the knee…
Post # 16
@GroovyHippieChick: She called them pretty soon after ordering. You KNOW they are going to be able to sell the dress again, or cancel the order with the designer. I agree there should be SOME liquidated damages, but not the entire deposit. If they can’t be accomodating or sensitive in any way, then I think they deserve a bad review. It would be a different story if this was her second return, or if she had waited months to contact them. But, even then, a company who cares about customer service will want to make sure that it’s customers are happy. Dress regret is a common problem and I understand that stores need to have policies because if they didnt’ then brides would be running in and out of the store changing their orders every day. BUT, having a totally draconian policy with no room for error is not acceptable. Both parties should be a little flexible. That’s why I’m saying she should try to find a compromise with them, not necessarily get everything her way, but she shouldn’t be forced to pay $2760 if she wants to order another dress. In My Humble Opinion. I would give rave reviews to a shop that actually cared about the wellbeing of its customers. Good customer service effects the bottom line, too. And companies should know that.