Post # 1
My fiance and I have chosen a venue for our wedding where we need to seriously limit the number of people on our guest list. The most difficult part (other than having to leave off some people I hated to leave off!) is trying to politely communicate to those who are on the list that we are inviting only them, not necessarily their latest boyfriend or their three little children.
Has anyone else come up against this? Any suggestions for an appropriate/clear way to communicate this?
Post # 3
The names on the envelope are the people who are invited, if you must be more explicit that than, fill in theor RSVP card with a 1, for them.
Post # 4
Are you doing inner envelopes with your invites?
Typically the inner envelope is addressed to exactly who is invited. If someone tries to over-invite themselves, a polite phone call is in order.
You can also post it in a FAQ section on your wedding website if you have one.
Post # 5
We had a very small wedding. As soon as anyone started asking, we stressed that it would be a very small wedding. We tried not to have anyone assume they would be getting an invite. In the end the small group of friends we did invite were thrilled to be included.
Post # 6
It’s ok to not include +1s for those who are truly single at the time invitations go out, however if they are in a serious relationship they should be allowed to bring their significant other. (I chose not to judge anyone else’s relationship- if they considered themselves in a relationship, I invited both by name)
As for children, a lot of people choose not to invite them. We only invited a very few well behaved, older children. We decided to use inner and outer envelopes to help with this dilemma. On the outer envelope, you address the person or couple being invited, and on the inner envelope you list the individual or couple, as well as “and guest” or list the names of the children invited as well (in order of oldest to youngest).
Even more than that, you can include on your RSVP cards ____ of __2__ attending so they can write in either “1” or “2” but beware that people will still write in all sorts of crazy things, at which point it’s time to make some phone calls (or delegate them to your mom, his mom, or FI himself).
Post # 7
I’m going to try the “we have ___ seats reserved in your honor” type of language because I’m pretty sure my family would not understant the inner envelope etiquette. Lets just say that in the past my family never even bothered with RSVPs and people just assumed that everyone and their neighbor would be invited. I’m hoping there won’t be too many bruised feelings about this.
Post # 8
@cali_cat: Thanks! That seems like a safe approach. I don’t think most of our friends/family would understand the envelope etiquette either! I probably wouldn’t have understood it myself before I started learning so much planning my own wedding.
Post # 9
@katiemae: Exactly! Lol. I just learned half this stuff from surfing around weddingbee – no way will most of my relatives know what is considered “proper.” In some ways it is really nice because I don’t have to worry if my inner envelope is facing the right way or if I don’t address my envelopes properly….nobody will know or care if I’m wrong! 🙂