- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Hi Bees! Im hoping to get some guidance from you. I have run into a situation I never thought would happen…
My fiance and I have been engaged now for almost 6 months, and have all our dates, and wedding related things booked (venue, florist, photographer, you get the point!!). I recently just got my dress, about 3 weeks ago. My fiance has a massive, outgoing, outspoken family, and 5 immediate cousins who are as close as siblings, with their parents being like second parents. We both love them all. His one cousin got engaged a month ago, and we were so happy for them. I was more so excited about helping her plan! Two weddings would be so much fun to look forward to. But this is where it goes downhill… She unftunately has booked her wedding two weeks before my own next May at the same venue. Not too big a deal, but I was worrying about his family as a alrge majority is aging and is living on very fixed incomes, I don’t want a happy time such as a wedding to burden anyone financially. I held my tongue though, she deserves to have any day she would like, just like I do. I have now found out though, that she has the identical meal and wedding package from the venue, so I started to worry about both weddings being very similar. I then found out she has booked the same photographer, decorator, florist an DJ. I was more surprised then upset to be honest. But I became upset when I found out she is doing almost identical colors: I am navy blue and white and she is navy blue and cream. She has even picked the same linens and voiced her centerpiece ideas (…..lol the same, candlesticks, vases with large branches, large lanterns) I have yet to say anything, and I do not intend to as I don’t want to start family drama. But the last blow, is she wants to get married in my families church.. I am anglican, she and her fiance are catholic. This church is so special to me, it is where every generation of my family weds, is buried and baptised and I feel so honoured to have my ceremony, which is ultimately the most important part, at this church. I feel hurt she would want to go to this church as it is not even in her home city.
I basically just feel like my whole special day has been copied after I have worked so hard to bring everything together for family and friends to have a night they will never forget, and I would have shrugged it all off if it weren’t for her and her family wanting to go to my families church, and before I even get to be married in it..
Is there any guidance any of you can give me on how to cope with this situation? I just feel so deflated over the whole grand scheme of things, or why she would want to do everything the same. And I want to stress I have not said anything about this to her or her fiance, mainly because I don’t want to ruin her day.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I apologize for the length of this!