Post # 1
My FFMIL/FFIL could not be any more happy or supportive for my FI and I and will do anything, yet the only thing I am having trouble with is getting them to let go of some of their responsibilities with him. My FI own their own business to which my FI is employed and his parents have always handeled his finances as far as balancing, transfers etc. He even has his cell phone with them. Now it is time to let go. It is time for us to do the money all by ourselves. We live togethor and have for about 3 years and have done really well with saving, helping each other with personel bills and joint ones, but I am not sure his parents are ready to hand over everything and I am starting to get frustrated. They are also nose deep in our house building but its hard for me because they have done it before and we really have no clue at times what we are doing. I just think its time to be adults, we are getting married in 6 weeks. I should also explain that I have been on my own and independant since I was 18 and now am 29 so I have never had the help that he has. Am I being unreasonable? Its not causing any tenstion, but I guess I am ready for the cord to break so to speak 🙂
Post # 3
I can totally understand and somewhat relate. My FH is about 8 years older than me and has been married and divorced. He is very self sufficient, but at the same time his parents have helped a lot. They own the house that we live in, all our bills were in their names, and his savings acct is in his dads name with my FH as a signer on it(annoying). Now some of this is becuase of the divorce. it is easier to protect things that are not in your name and we still have a couple years until she cant come back and try for allamony, but we wanted to be more independent. I have always been independent with my finances and it was weird at first for me. To get out from under the in laws we started with switching the utilities to our names, and slowly but surly we are changing everything to his name/our names except the savings(dont want to switch it until the allomony seeking period is over). And we are going to buy a house this fall hopefully and give this on back to them for their retirement….
So basically, I would start small. I fully understand that you guys should be able to handle your own finances, but dont rush it. Just slowly butt them out, or talk to them about possibly helping you learn their way of doing things and start slowing taking over the responsibility from them.