Advice for my newly engaged friend

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
7493 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Don’t buy things you can’t afford. Boom. Done.

Post # 3
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

They need to learn how to manage finances and realize that sometimes things have to get cut. It sounds like they’re living quite a bit above their means and that isn’t smart. Dave Ramsey has some good classes and budgeting stuff, at least that’s what I heard. 

Post # 4
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Wow. She needs to calm down her expectations and realize that you can’t have everything you want all at once. There is nothing wrong with getting that 9k ring, maybe 5 years from now when she is settled into her career and he is working as well.I’m currently working on my doctorate and there is no way I wouldve made FI purchase anything near that range. I wouldve been happy with a 500 dollar ring, as long as his proposal was sincere. I just think this is how 20 somethings start their futures on shaky ground-by overstretching themselves. FI shouldnt have to be stressed like that either-its not fair to him. I’ve seen weddings done beautifully simple and quaint to elaborate and over the top, and at the end of the day, both couples are married. One probably spent their life’s savings, and the other didn’t.

<br />I just think this kind of attitude actually prevents many men in their 20s from proposing, because they think they have to be able to afford to provide the woman with “the best.” Thats what society tells them, and we as future wives, should be bold enough to speak otherwise and tell the men we love the truth.

<br />I don’t know how one would broach the topic with her, but if she is a close friend, try to emphasize that there are many beautiful rings for much less, and she should try to work with FI towards a common goal that works for them as a couple.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by  .
Post # 5
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

She has expensive tastes, she is already living above her means doing renovations she can’t afford and she is annoyed that parents can’t pay for her wedding?!  She needs to meet reality.  

I would just tell it to her like it is: “You don’t have enough money to get married the way you want at the moment.” 

Post # 6
Member
7844 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ruphiolis:  (If she asks for advice) tell her she needs to have a smaller wedding, one she can afford. One sure way to make the wedding cheaper is to invite less people. There’s nothing wrong with a smaller wedding. It is the marriage which is important, not the wedding.

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