(Closed) Advice for something kind of awkward

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@purehart: Have you been invited yet? that will let you know if you get a guest.

Its usually not polite to gently ask. However usually the bridal party gets +1’s.

Post # 4
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you have been with your BF  for 5 years then i would totally expect that he should be invited,  and if the bride and groom have not invited him i think its a bit rude to be honest. 

He isnt just a new man in your life, 5 years is enough time for people to see you as a steady couple and yes of course he should be there. and i would be offended if i was invited and not my partner. 

maybe you could ask her. 

Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Alot of times the wedding party automatically gets a +1.  Do you have to make travel arrangements or book a hotel?  You could say that you were going to make the travel arrangements and were wondering if you were getting the +1.   You are right this is awkward, I’ve been a bridesmaid in two times where I wasn’t seeing anyone but I’d known the brides since HS so i knew people.  Good Luck.  I definitely wouldn’t wine about it or make a big deal if she says that you weren’t getting a +1 tho.  It’s one night and as you said you will survive this.

Post # 6
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@purehart: Since it is still a year away, I think you should just wait until you either a.) learn that your boyfriend is invited through communications initiated by the bride regarding the rehearsal dinner or other wedding-related events or b.) get a formal invitation to know whether or not you get an “and guest.” It may very well be that the bride and her Fiance have already taken your boyfriend into account and plan to give you a +1.

Post # 8
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The bride is your friend, I would just ask and explain why if you’re worried about being rude. It sounds pretty established that she knows your Boyfriend or Best Friend, I’d expect him to be invited (unless it’s an extremely small family wedding).

Post # 9
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you know you aren’t getting a plus one?

I’d just assume I was.  I thing that if you’re  a Bridesmaid or Best Man you are close to the bride so I don’t think it’d be bad to ask in general conversation “can, ……. come?”  She’ll prob say “of course.”  If not then she is in the wrong and doing a major ettiqett blunder and being plain rude, not you, IMO.

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