- 2 years ago
Hi Bees just thought I’d share my experience as I searched endlessly for this info and got no where!
Bit of info, first pregancy, no complications, live in Uk so covered by the NHS.
We have been messed about from day one! Things we’ve had to deal with….
– Midwives not turning up
– Consultants not turning up
– Booking me in for ultrasounds but not telling me
– lecturing me for not attending the ultrasound
– failing to book me in for appiontments
– I was due to have my glucose test at 27 weeks, I received it at 36 weeks
– whilst having a breakdown and panic attack, they told me if I didn’t calm down then I would lose the baby…. Turns out this wasn’t true they were trying to ‘scare me into calming’ a method that completely contradicts itself.
– Not giving me my diabetes meds
-refusing to take my concerns about being further gone seriously… Turns out I was right.
Anyway through all this hagro I know it will be worth it. Please understand it is not the actual NHS causing the issues it’s the particular Drs surgery and hospital That is to blame.
As for my C section.
From day one I told my midwife I can not cope with a vaginal birth. It has nothing to do with the pain because of course we are built to do this!
When I was 17 I witnessed my aunt miscarry, I was with her when her womb collapsed and I had to phone the ambulance and part deliver the baby, she was less than 20 weeks. I also had to clean up the placenta and after math whilst she as rushed away. Then she hemereged and I was rushed away to give her blood as were rare blood types. Going through that traumatised me and I developed a fear of vaginal deliveries.
My midwife advised me to see my regular Dr and get his opinion. His response was along the lines of
“Well birth is the easy part, I’ll book you in for the therapist because I don’t want to see you here siz months after baby saying you can’t cope”
-I was livid at this response. How the hell is my fear anything to do with the ability to cope with a baby? I snapped at him and said ‘I’m not scared of babies!”
Needless to say our letter for the therapist app didn’t turn up.
My midwife chased it numerous times with no luck She did get me in to see a c section consultant.
That went well except the conclusion of the apointment was she needed a therapists opinion before booking me in For the c section.
She booked me in for the therapist herself.
At 35 weeks saw therapist she said “100% c section was for me and she couldn’t cure years of fear in 5 weeks it’s unrealistic”.
So at 36 weeks when we’re having our glucoae test, I saw a new Dr who was really intimidating but I liked him. He explained I was there to discuss the results of the glucose test. I mentioned to him I was waiting to have my c section booked and he just gave me this blann look and said
“your 36 1/2 weeks and your not booked in yet?”
He stormed out came back with a diary, apologised that we hadn’t been booked yet and said ok is the 15th ok for you?”
I burst into tears. For 36 weeks I’d been messed about, pushed aside and left fighting my corner and this guy knew what he was doing! He saw i’d been passed from consultant to midwife to therapist to Drs.
Now I can relax knowing that my little boy will be in my arms on the 15th Dec abd delivered the way that’s best for me.
So hered my advice to Uk bees fighting for their C section on the NHS.
– Dont let them pass you along
– Do your research about C sections if you tell then your aware of the pros and cons they take you more seriously.
– Explain your reasons and don’t let them tell you it’s not ‘good enough’
– If they tell you c sections are for medical purposes only, then your mental health qualifies too! If I deliver vaginaly I’m at risk of going into panic/shock which can make baby stress and put him at risk!
– keep phoning the 111 NHS helpline they were great and fully supported my fight for the c section.
– keep chasing them letters! Don’t let them forget you! Bug the crap out of them!
– if the first consultant says No, go elsewhere
And finaly don’t let people get to you. I’ve heard it all to the point where I want to slam my head into the wall! I hit breaking point at 20 weeks when people kept saying “don’t worry about the pain” , ‘oh you don’t want a c section’ , ‘vaginal births are natural, better and empowering’ and my favourite “How will you bond with the baby after a c section?”
Some people are really closed minded to the fact everyone’s different.
Hope this info helps anyone who has this daunting task ahead of them and good luck!