- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
TALK TO YOUR MAN.
No, seriously. Do it. I was avoiding talking about what I wanted, and even thought I was dropping obvious hints, sometimes you need to be more forward. Say “I want to get married”, and don’t back down if that’s what you want. No shame.
There’s always a good reason to push off the conversation – you name the excuse, I’ve probably used it. And as a result, my waiting period has probably been longer than it needed to be.
I’ve been with my SO for nearly 5 years (we’re 29 and 32), and right around the time we should have been talking seriously about marriage, he was starting a very frustrating job search. I hung in there, and supported him the whole way, but it took a lot longer than either of us would have liked. He finally found a job this fall, and now that job isn’t panning out the way he had hoped. The prospect of more unknown, more waiting without an end in sight was what woke me up – we’d spent so much time talking about what HE wanted, that I realized I needed to be more vocal about what I wanted. So I told him last night that I want to get married.
Maybe it wasn’t the most comfortable thing for me to say, and maybe I had ugly cry face for most of the conversation – but we talked about it. He said he felt ready to marry me a year into our relationship, but that he had been selfishly putting his job search and other priorities ahead of our relationship. That he needed to realign his priorities and marry me, because that’s what he wants too.
You know what we share now? Common ground. We both want to get married, to each other, and we want it to happen sooner than later. We talked about rings and kids and the future. It’s making my wait feel less like a sentence to be carried out and more like it should – happy anticipation 🙂