Post # 1
I am not sure what to do here, so any advice would be much appreciated.
A childhood friend of my fiancee cannot make our wedding because he will be out of town on business. He did, however, give his invite to his sister and a “date” to take his place.
1 – we know his sister but haven’t seen her for 15 years and have no contact since then
2 – we have never met her “date”
What do you suggest I do now that he has already done this? Note, we are not having a large wedding. 120 people max, and can’t invite a lot of friends / extended family due to space constraints.
Thanks to all for your help!
Post # 3
Wow…..I would be upset. How to go about this? I’m not even sure. I would personally call him (since he is a childhood friend) and let him know that due to space contraints that you do not have enough space for his sister and a date you guys don’t even know.
Politely, ask him to uninvite them? Not sure, that would be the tricky part. I would be so livid. Especially since you cannot invite all friends and family because of space, and now he is just inviting people you don’t know.
Post # 4
Tell him (or rather, you FI should, since it’s his friend) exactly what you said- that you’re having to leave out some people you would love to have come to the wedding due to space constraints. Period. I can’t believe his nerve, the invite isn’t tickets to a concert!
Post # 5
Post # 6
I would just have your fiance tell him that you’re sorry to miss him, but don’t have the room to accommodate his sister and guest.
Post # 7
that’s super weird. I’d tell him NO.
Post # 8
LOL! Since when are wedding invites transferable???
The longer I live the more people make me want to bang my head against a wall.
Post # 9
HOLY SHIT that is insane. Explain that the wedding is not large, you are sad he can’t make it, but you can’t invite his sister and risk offending closer friends and relatives that were not able to be invited due to the space.
I am amazed at his presumption.
Post # 10
what. the. hell.
His fiancee will have to make the call. Its not tickets to a festival or a movie. Its a freaking wedding!! Wow, he’s got some balls.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t be upset as there’s a very strong chance that the guest isn’t clear on how RSVP’s work. You really don’t know how many little etiquette rules there are till you’re the one managing the guest list, and even then, no two weddings have the identical rules. So don’t get angry.
But I would politely explain that there’s been some confusion and that, while you would love the opportunity to reconnect with his sister, you must decline his kind offer to have her attend in his place.
Post # 13
Wow everytime I see peoples ridiclous behavior i feel like I entered the twilight zone. This isn’t a concert or party of some sort where he can pass on his tickets to his sister.
Call this person and tell them you sorry that they can’t make it, but they cannot invite someome else in their place and tell him his sisteri sn’t invited.
Post # 15
@mrs.folks: wow- ok, I am glad to know I am not being a jerk here. I will take all of your advice and explain politely that the tickets are for the intended guests only and that I regred that I cannot extend an invitation to his sister and her guest.
Thanks to all, your advice is priceless (and some hilarious)!
Post # 16
@maladroite: Yes. This.
And absolutely have FI deal with it, since it’s his friend.
That being said, I had 4 people invite themselves to my DW, but since they were paying, I really didn’t care 🙂