Post # 1
So, I’m getting married in less than four weeks (yay)! Anywho, my fiance received a bonus and budgeted so we are going to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon and plan on booking it tonight.
I have never been to anywhere except Vegas (for a friends wedding a couple years ago), St. Louis, and Chicago –my family was poor when I was a kid so we never went on vacation which is fine but you can see why I’m excited to actually see the ocean and go somewhere!
My brother got engaged after me and planned his wedding for May 2012. I had NO problem with this because I love my brother and his fiancee too. Six months is plenty of time to recover from my wedding and go to his and things and save for presents and showers and such.
Flash forward to today. The day I am booking my honeymoon for my wedding in a few weeks. I texted my future sis-in-law because I was at a dress fitting near where they lived. Well, we started texting and I found out her and my brother want to go to Vegas to get married this DECEMBER.
My fiance and I are having a low budget wedding with only 70 guests. We are paying for most of it ourselves and have been scrimping and saving in order for it to still be nice. We aren’t doing anything extravagant-just a nice sit down dinner with some dancing and a dj with a few other vendors. People we have had booked for a year.
I was so excited to go to Hawaii but if we go I can’t afford to go to my brothers wedding. they just decided this today so I don’t know what to do.There is no way I can save up to go since all my funds are going to the wedding.
Should I give up MY honeymoon to go somewhere I don’t want to go in order to go to my brother’s wedding?
I’m so so sad right now 🙁
Post # 3
How for sure are they though? Could you save money by driving rather than flying to Vegas? Did you indicate you may not be able to afford it?
Post # 4
Go on your honeymoon! You are not being the least bit selfish. With any luck, your brother may change his wedding date again, or you might get a super duper deal you can afford to Vegas in December. Don’t wreck your own plans to accomodate someone elses waffling ways.
Post # 5
Do you know that they expect family to be there? Many people go to Vegas to elope, even if is planned.
Post # 6
I would NOT cancel all of my plans to go to my brother’s wedding. You and your FI DESERVE this!
Don’t feel guilty either!! You did the right thing..you made your plans, expecting them to work well with their plans…you are not the one at fault.
But TALK to someone, instead of just text, to let them know what is going on.
Post # 7
@SandyThePoet: I agree. Vegas flights can be pretty cheap on some of the low cost carriers.
Post # 8
Go on your honeymoon–they haven’t even sent out invitations yet! I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to cancel because they may change their plans.
Post # 9
Yikes, there won’t be a perfect answer here, however, I don’t think you should cancel your honeymoon. Just talk to your bro and explain to him. I hope everything works out.
Post # 10
Keep your plans and go on your honeymoon!
If this is the first that they are talking about going to Vegas tell them that you can’t afford to go, which is very understandable. You may not be the only one who can’t go and this may only be an idea if they can get everyone they care about to come.
Post # 11
My future sis-in-law says he is dead-set on going around Christmas. I told them that I wasn’t sure if we could afford it but am worried they will judge me for going on a honeymoon.
Money isn’t an issue with my brother–he is an electrician. i am getting my Masters and work at applebees. I don’t have a steady income and since my fiancee is in the military he doesn’t make that much money either :/
I know my dad is going to Vegas but he is the only one helping with my wedding financially so I can’t expect him to help me pay for my ticket and hotel out in Vegas. Even though it’s family I don’t like taking money since my parents don’t have a lot. I already felt bad for taking money for my wedding from them since they are paying for the food and church 🙁
Post # 12
Quite honestly, if they already knew when your wedding was and they moved theirs up – that’s their choice and they will have to understand that not everyone will be able to accomodate that decision.
*IF* family is expected to be there, then you will simply have to say you have already booked your honeymoon and wedding, you were planning for theirs to be a May wedding and due to financial reasons will not be able to attend the Las Vegas wedding.
That is not being selfish – you shouldn’t be expected to alter an event like that because they had a change of date.
Plus at this point you can’t be sure they won’t change it again. Go on your honeymoon and have a fantastic time in Hawaii 🙂
Post # 13
Go on your honeymoon! They haven’t even picked a date. What if you cancel and their plans fall through?
Post # 14
Go on your honeymoon. The Vegas thing could change, and anyway, you had your plans first- if you had booked last night it would be too late anyway. I think that it would be very unfair of your brother to assume you can afford to fly to Vegas for his wedding and then get upset if you can’t. Even if you take a honeymoon- it would be selfish of him to judge you for it and say, well you should skip your wedding plans for my inconvenient plans. They should be able to understand your position if they respect you at all.
Post # 15
Thanks ladies! I was worried I was being a bridezilla!
Post # 16
I would book the honeymoon. They can change their mind still, and probably will when they realize how expensive it is. If they still choose Vegas, I think you can make it work, you’ll just need a little help, like sharing a hotel room and rental car.